Hey IM's.
I've been feeling this way for a while and thought I was being silly. I've been married for almost 9 years, three kids together. 11,8&5.
I work part time and my partner is full time self employed.
For as long as I can remember I wanted a family and a husband and now I'm here I hate it.
I love my children but I can't help but want to be on my own.
I get very little support from my husband who spends his weekends fishing or sleeping and I run the house, finances and children.
Like I said, I love my kids so so much but I am so unhappy.
I'm scared if I go I'll realize the grass isn't greener on the other side...
And I know I made the choice to have children and a family so I should probably suck it up and be the mum and wife I should be.. I just don't know how much more I can do..
Hoping for no judgement as I am already judging myself :(
3 Replies
Also I should add... I don't want to hurt my husband by leaving him
It's time to make sure your needs are being met within this relationship. Everyone needs a break. When was the last time hubby stayed home with the kids so you could go out and do your stuff? Everyone needs there cup refilled. When was the last time hubby spent time with you and the kids on the weekend?
Why should you continue to be hurt while hubby continues to get a free ride? What sort of crap arse partnership/team work is that?
Time to demand that you get your needs met too. Everything is a compromise and you weren't the only one who chose kids and marriage, he did too. So it's time for him to pull his socks up and negotiate time off for you. You need a hobby. You need time without the kids and hubby. You need to refill your cup and if hubby isn't prepared to do that he needs to leave. Why should you be miserable why he gets everything he wants, when a compromise would mean you both get your needs met. If he won't compromise it means he isn't interested in a relationship and should go.
Sometimes when in a relationship for so long, we get complacent, and don't put the work into making our marriage a happy one that we should be. Sounds like your relationship needs a shake up. Can you have a chat with hubby, without placing blame, and putting him on the defensive. Let him know how your feeling, and make time together to reconnect. It takes effort, and feels forced and uncomfortable in the beginning, but it will get better. Just remember, you get back what you give. So focus less on what he's not doing for You, and more on what you can do for Him. Showing him love and attention, will make him want to reciprocate after a little while. Practicing loving him, will also make you feel more in love. It does work! You just have to want it, and put in the effort. As I said, it's not easy at first, because you are probably feeling unappreciated and unloved at this point in time. I've been there. I get it. But you totally have the power to change it! Good luck to you. Xx