Just after some advice really. My ex and I have been separated for over a year and I think he is seeing someone new. This doesn't bother me but she has kids and I don't know how to feel about it in relation to my daughter. What if they aren't nice to her? What if she wants to be with her dad more because there are other kids to play with? I just don't know how to feel. I don't really know what I'm asking maybe just for some stories from anyone who has been through it? Thanks ladies
3 Replies
As long as dad knows she is someone he sees himself with forever, before introducing your daughter to his new girlfriend and her children. And they are willing to be a blended family there can be a lot of positives! But rushing it can be the opposite.
My son's father met someone last year who had a child and within weeks she was pregnant and they moved in together. It was so rushed! My son and her son went from just having their mum or their dad to themselves, to suddenly having to share everything! They didnt cope AT ALL! they fought non stop. My son hated going because of it. His dad and his girlfriend would fight even worse over the kids fighting and picked sides and then would play the kids against each other. It was bloody awful! I had to put my foot down and tell them to sort their issues out. However they split up and the poor kids were all left so confused and now there is a sibling out there my child has never met which is extremely sad!
But if they do it right and put all the kid's best interests first, your daughter could have so much fun with these kids. That wouldn't mean she'd love you less or want to be with you less. It will just be abother positive part of her life. It would be no different than when you meet someone and have more children.
I have a positive story, the ex/dad got a gf, she had kids, they got along with my kid fine and they had another one. My kid likes going but it hasn't made her want to live there, mum is mum and home is home. I am grateful she has siblings, he repartnered 8 years ago. The new family with the kids didn't replace her home or our relationship in any way.
There will be ups and downs like there is with any sibling, my mum and dad split when I was 7 and my dad 's new partner had a son it took awhile for me to warm up to him...he instantly loved having a sister lol. Though now I couldnt imagine my life without my brother from another mother! We are incredibly close and have such a great realtionship I now have kids and they adore their Uncle. I think having a step sibling is a great thing :)