It is weird how life turns out sometimes....remember no matter how dark things get things do get better.

How weird life turns out sometimes. When I was growing up my nanna and pop never liked me. i'd get blank birthday cards or less gifts than my other siblings etc. My parents noticed this also so it wasn't just my thoughts. Don't worry this is sort of a good ending post! My pop passed away 1.5 years ago and I never got the chance to know him or my daughter to know him. I regret so much never asking why he didn't like me so much etc but I cant change that. I went up for his funeral and ever since than my nanna and I have gotten along. Its been a slow process but we have slowly talked more etc. She didn't think I would have gone for the funeral and was surprised. I wouldn't have not gone despite not getting along. Well anywho life turns out strange sometimes. We can have a conversation and we can say hello and even now give hugs! She buys my daughter things and she also buys things for me! She came with Christmas decorations and also sent back a small gift for xmas with my sister who visited her she lives hours away. Well tonight is the very first time I realised we actually have a bit in common and that we can have a conversation with the same views! We spoke for two hour on the phone today and normally we struggle with the 15-30 min phone call. She actually isn't as bad a I remember her being! Yes I remember all the shitty bits ill never forget the times I felt crap seeing the difference with how they treated my siblings. I was a shitty kid as well so probably partly my fault, im not making excuses for the way they treated me just saying maybe when I was a kid I wasn't the easiest to like haha! I was an obnoxious, outgoing, unable to keep my mouth shut, speak what I wanted sort of kid. I'm now older and wiser HAHA but what my rambling is about is its nice to finally be able to say I have a nanna who I can actually talk to and relate to! I've always felt not part of a family I felt like the black sheep. I cant change the past but I can change the future. I want my daughter to remember her great nanny and be able to look back and remember the happy times and not see us not getting along. I look back and see all the happy moments my siblings have and all their photos and wish I had some of those to share! I don't want to waste anymore time being angry or bitter. Its not about the past its about what the future holds and I actually think we could be really good "friends" and have some laughs. Ive had a tough time lately. Separation, domestic violence, health issues, daughters health issues and its nice to know no matter how dark life gets at times its nice to see some light at the end of the tunnel and that things can change. I now know that she will listen to my ranting and raving about how shitty things are, or my happy moments, my laughs, I know that she's only a phone call away and she has already helped me more than I ever ever dreamt of.
To everyone struggling and feeling shitty about life please know that there is life at the end of the tunnel. Things can change that you never expected and no matter how small those changes it does slowly get better. Its taken me a lot of time to get to this point but it a good feeling knowing that things do get better and things can change for the better.