Hi sisters.
How do all you step parents do it. I have been with my guy for 10 years one child together and a step daughter that we only see in school holidays. Step daughter never repects me and make a big crack between me and my husband. I can never seem to do anything right with her and its breaking me. I need help or my relationship is going to end
step daughter
step daughter
Posted in:
Kids
2 Replies
Talk to your partner. What does he think/say about it all?
Have you tried speaking with her yourself? Does she feel guilty if she is being nice to you because you are not her mum?
When my step dad came into the picture 20 years ago, he sat us down and said that he wants to be a part of our lives but never take our dads place but would love it if he could have a place too. He has always been loving and amazing.
My dad's ex was horrible to us so naturally we didn't get along, his now wife is amazing. She loves and respects us.
In saying that about my step parents, if I ask for advice they will tell it to me straight and I love that.
My stepdad has kids, one of them was good to mum at the start. Over all the years they now abuse her because their dad said enough, don't disrespect his wife, she has done nothing wrong. They also spent years trying to break mum & him up but it didn't work.
One of his children did extensive damage to my mums property because she didn't like her dad moving on, yet, her mum was allowed to and they were happy for their mum but not their dad.
Every situation is different, I am not a step parent but I have had good and not so good step parents.
All I can advise is try to open up communication between your partner, the child and if possible the childs mother. Is your step childs mother encouraging the behaviour? Do you or your partner have a good relationship with the mother, if so try to talk to her.
Maybe because she doesn't see you both often she feels like she isn't a part of your family (not saying you don't welcome her or that you make her feel like an outsider). At one point I felt like that with dad because he lived with his partner and her kids and I saw him once a month or so.
It could come down to the step child not fully accepting her parents relationship is over.
Sending you luck, I hope it all works out and you can have a wonderful family unit.
Just love her, and leave the discipline to dad. My daughter is 10, my husband has only been in her life for 12 months and she's with us most of the time. The biggest issues and the biggest fights we have are when he steps in to try to 'parent' her, rather than just 'friend' her. My daughter doesn't need another parent, and she's too old for him to start parenting her. When he's friends with her - watches movies she likes, plays games with her, jokes with her - and leaves the parenting to me, life is beautiful :-) They're both happier together, and the two of us don't fight about it. It's hard for the step-parent, and without knowing fully what your situation is I don't whether any of this helps, but the best advice I could give is this - just be her friend, give her opportunities to let you into her world as someone who loves her, don't push your way in, treat her with love and care, and most of all, leave the parenting to dad. It may not fix everything, but hopefully it helps. More than that...I'd take yourself and hubby to see a counsellor. There is a pathway through this, just get someone on board who can help you sort through all the issues. Best of luck!!!