Good evening mum's... Ahhh some of you might remember the posts I've made previously. The posts about my step daughter. The one who lied about being molested... Well where do I start.
She moved. She went and lived with her mother. After much trying on my end enough was enough. The threat too kill my unborn child was enough. I couldn't be calm when she was around so hubby and I decided too give her what she wanted... A life with her mother. Do I regret it? FUCK no. The amount of times I've walked on egg shells around this kid I don't regret it. Not one little bit.
But I feel guilty. She has gone. She has in turn continued to destroy the relationships down here. Between my husband and his other daughter (said daughters twin) the relationship with my husband and my kids and the relationship with my husband and myself. She is charging shit too his mobile phone. We have no idea how she is doing this. Telstra won't help. The police can't do anything because she is a minor. The mother and her have reported me too FACS. I WAS UNDER INVESTIGATION FOR FUCK SAKE. They came out bombarded me with questions right in front of the kids as I was pulling up from the school pick up. Intimidated the fuck out of me. Made me feel like I've done wrong. It's all bullshit. So anyway I played their game. I went and seen someone and I have the kids in counseling. All through FACS. They reported I was of good mental health. So they stopped my sessions. The kids have normal kid issues. Being from broken homes and the other parents not being an active part of their lives but besides that their home life is great. Now because of the step daughter I have living here and the things she has told FACS about her mother they have decided to investigate the mother. She is pissed. It's like retaliation. In a game we aren't even interested playing. We never told my step daughter to say anything she has said. We've told all the kids too be open and honest. They have.
Now the step daughter not living with us is charging porn and dating sites too hubby's phone. We've reported it too the police. To telstra to FACS. Nothing has come of it. She is mentally fucking the kid and no one seems too care. The mother allows her to have her 11 year old boyfriend come sleep over in the same fucking room. She encourages sexual shit in the house. These kids could tell me more about sex than I know. Yet no one does anything about it.
So we haven't had contact with step child since January. Not our doing but the mothers. She won't allow it. Now everything else has happened we aren't really interested. We don't need the games. Anyway... We sent a present up for step daughter... Got no thank you no nothing. Step daughter down here for nothing. Not long after this the mother decided she wanted nothing to do with step daughter down here. In a bid too get her too move up there. Didn't work. I know step daughter loves her mum but she knows that her mother doesn't want anything to do with her unless she has zero contact with her dad. That won't happen.
Now the mother is filing for DNA test. She said they aren't his. I've known the whole time they aren't his. When she conceived she was living 8 hours away in a house my husband had purchased for her and he was visiting every 6 weeks. Now they weren't intimate for 3 months and all of a sudden she is 4 weeks pregnant a week after he comes home. (I wasn't in the picture at this stage.) hubby is heart broken. He is dying inside. The fact that the child/ren he raised for 11 years aren't his has finally gotten the better of him. He is lost. He doesn't want the DNA test. As far as he is concerned they're his. Where do we go from here? How do I support him through this. We've refused a DNA test. We aren't interested in knowing. Sorry for the long rant but I just don't know how to cope with this shit.
18 Replies
I woulf personally cancel the mob account so they cant charge stuff anymore. If they dont want contact then fine dont have contact support the child that lives with you if she doesnt want contact then so be it. After this i would also be seeking advice from a family lawyer to know your rights.
We've been to court we hold custody. not her. court orders also state she has too know a number too contact the other child on. Even though she doesn't contact her. We can't change the number without giving it too them. This is where we are stuck.
So why didn't your husband know the twins weren't his at the time if you could do the simple calculation? Why didn't he address this at the time? Why did he continue to parent them for 11 years? Why didn't he walk away back then? What a mess, these poor, poor children. Everyone deserves to know their identity, who their parents are. If they were mature adults and wanted to continue on their relationship despite the infidelity, they could have told them from a young age that they have a biological dad and the dad that chose to be their father. What a horrific shit storm for those children. I wouldn't take the DNA at this point either, they have enough to deal with, but no doubt the mother will pursue it and then it could potentially get worst, she may be able to get custody of the other twin. Please, please see a lawyer. Also, are you sure they are the ones downloading the porn and dating websites? Seems strange that no one will help with this. I think there is a lot more to this precious relationship and your partner than you know. Good luck with it all.
Let's me start by saying my husband is naive. Almost borderline stupid. He has no idea and that's being honest. We have been to court. We gained full custody of the kids. This is why the mother has come clean that they aren't his children because she lost custody. She gained the other child due to behavior. The child I have, is being well looked after. She goes to a counselor. It's not as if we aren't taking the right steps to ensure her mother doesn't fuck her up even more. As for the guy who is apparently the father.. He walked away. Never wanted contact he was married with a 3 month old. My husband didn't second guess anything because the mother is good at lying and fucking people over. The child we have wants nothing to do with this guy who might be her father. She wants to continue life with just us. Yes she speaks about it. No it's not shit down. She knows when she is ready if she ever wants contact then she is more than welcome to do so and we will support her. For now this is the decision and we support her for this as well. If we give her the DNA then it's grounds too involve this stranger in her life and she doesn't want that. Everything we do is for them. This wasn't a case of him knowing. He never knew. Some people can actually just want too see the good in people it makes them stupid. This unfortunately is my husband.
But its not about him. I'm fairly sure he can be forced to have a DNA test through court anyway so you may as well make life easier for yourselves and just get it done.
Sounds naive to me. Ive heard this before... the woman decides on an acceptable excuse so she doesnt have to see the real mess and can overinvest in cleaning up his problems.
Cancel the phone account. Notify the bank and cancel all known accounts to payees. Check your bank statements and track down those businesses. Request the bank to act on your behalf.
Fraud is still fraud.
I am not sure about everything else. She does sound like a case. You might need to get sole parental responsibility for the twin, and legal adoption.
I think the twin is not going to have an easy life from now onwards.
Eleven! They should be together. Sorry but my kids are seperated and its fucked. Biggest head fuck for them. And they are twins. You need to stop being selfish and forget who has legal custody, its not a game. If you dont want anything to do with the other twin its only fair you send the one in your care to her mother.
Before you jump to the "they should be together bullshit" this is what she wanted. The other sister... The one we have wants nothing to do with her "twin" or her mother. So we send her to the mother and the same behavior is allowed? If you knew my other posts you wouldn't be commenting this shit. The mother is a manipulative narrcasistic pig who is addicted to medication. The med things we just found out. But I should send my step daughter to an environment where she isn't looked after? Isn't made shower always has nits always dehydrated and hospitalised and always has thrush? Yeah I think not. I ask how I support them... Not how to get rid of a child who wants to remain living with me.
My ex says all sorts of stuff about me. Apparently I'm an alcoholic who doesn't buy food and sluts around town. None of this is true. The child having lice is not child abuse. The child is old enough to shower herself. Any kid who has gastro can end up in hospital with dehydration. Again, old enough to get a drink of water. I'm also very wary of people that say their children want nothing to do with a parent, thats a sign that they have been alienated. Did you know that children of drug addicts and neglectors STILL love their parents and want to live with them UNLESS alienation has taken place? I'm going through it now, on the other side.
Not all children of parents who neglect or abuse them want to live with them because they love their parents. It is generally due to manipulation. They've been manipulated to feel like they are responsible, or that there's really nowhere else for them no matter what anyone else says, that they deserve what is going on, that they can't leave because then their parent(s) will fail without them etc. none of that has anything to do with parental alienation. I was an abused and neglected kid, I loved my parents but I didn't want to live with them, I would have given anything to have been rescued. I was too scared to say anything because I was threatened with never seeing my siblings again. Alienation never took place. This world is not black and white.
How do you know she lied about being molested? If she is sexually active at 11 there is a really good chance she is telling the truth. That is one of the signs. So is a few of the other behaviours you've pointed out. Poor kid.
We know she lied because she was tested. No signs of what she claimed happened actually happened. That's how we know.
Well tests can be wrong. Lets hope she is lying because imagine being brave enough to tell someone that happened only to be told she is a liar.
Please, whatever you do, don't bring anymore kids into this scenario. Any single mum (I am one) would have walked away from this situation a long time ago for your own children's emotional well being and stability. You could have lost your kids over this relationship, it this all really worth it?
I totally get what your saying... 100% but you don't just walk away. My children aren't affected by any of this. They know very little about the situation. If anything they're affected by their father not wanting them for the past 9 years
Well you're loyal, I will give you that. I hope you all find peace with this situation, he is lucky to have you, most would have walked ? I also absolutely agree with you in keeping the other twin, you can't send her back to that hell hole.
I would cancel the phone account and open a new one. Dont get this number to ex or daughter. Get a cheap prepaid phone and give that number to the daughter living with the mother.
Sorry I don't have any advice on the other issues.
Hope things get better for your family.