Does ICE change a person permanently? My child's father (my ex) got into ICE late last year. He claims to be clean but he is not the same person... My child told me he misses his old dad.
Does ICE change a person permanently?
Does ICE change a person permanently?
Posted in:
Life Lessons, Mental Health, Health & Wellbeing, Behaviour
12 Replies
Yes. It changes the chemical and structural composition of the brain. It especially dulls the senses, empathy, much like alcohol. Brain cells cannot be recovered once damaged.
If he was on it for only a year and doesn't use again, there is every chance he will fully recover and come back, but it will take time.
Using drugs changes you. Getting clean changes you. I don't think anybody is ever quite the same person after something like that, just like you wouldn't be exactly the same after a trauma.
It sure does. My husbands friend got addicted to it, his off it now but he has never been the same. Its like it had completely fried his brain, he rambles on about the weirdest stuff and is extremely paranoid.
He always goes on about how I'm a pure blood and that I'm his daughter, I'm older than he is and not related at all.
I have a beautiful dear friend who went of the rails for a year and ended up addicted to ice. Fortunately for her, her parents had enough collateral on their home and could send her to a private rehab. She has been clean for about three years now. She is caring, non judgemental, smart, funny, understanding. But she does struggle cognitively at times. She has a very good job but sometimes, she needs some time to work things through in her head. Besides that, she is still the amazing person she was prior to ice.
I know this doesn't really answer your question but I'd recommend getting in touch with a support service. There's plenty around for family and friends of those with drug and alcohol problems. Even though he's said he's clean now, they should be able to provide some information about the changes and what to expect etc.
I believe there are some who you can call for advice and still remain anonymous.
This is good advice, thank you. We used to be able to co-parent quite well but since the ICE hes been so verbally abusive towards me and sends these long bizarre text messages that make little sense and makes him come across and completely scattered. I'm not really sure how to cope with it and I'm extremely frightened by him.
With the behaviours you talk about... I would be questioning whether he is actually clean?
I am a recovering ice addict, using for over 2 years & 9 months in full blown addiction. Im coming up to 3 years clean in February. My battles with addiction changed me forever & my recovery has also changed me. It has been a really long road to repair the damage i did to myself & those around me. I had to change almost every aspect of who i was.. thought processes, behaviours, lifestyle, friends, environment etc. So yes its changed me but definitely for the better.
I now have an amazing job in management now & building a strong career with no evident lasting effects from my years of using.
I will mention that Ice ceases your brains ability to produce chemicals such as endorphins & it takes upto 18 months for your brain to 're-boot' & function normally after heavy ice use.... hence the 'scattered' behaviour people talk about.
The same drug will affect different people in different ways. Although not the same thing but best way to describe it is take alcohol for example. If you think of the family and friends you know, and how they all are after a few too many drinks, they'll all be different.
By getting in touch with a drugs and alcohol service, not only will you get professional advice, they will also offer you support. He may be your ex but he is still the father of your son so still in your life. You need to know how to cope with this, for your own sake and your son's because even though your ex is the one taking the drug, it's still affecting you and your child. Family and friends need just as much support and help as the drug user themselves.
Thank you. I hadn't considered getting myself professional support, I've been putting all my focus toward my son and how he is coping. My son has been seeing a psychologist all year. He saw too much violence at the beginning, before I knew. I am so upset that I was so naive and such a coward that I didn't stand up to his father when I thought something was off. But when my son told me about what was happening at Dad's house. Even then I didn't consider he was on ICE.
I'm not really coping with it. My husband isn't coping with it. All 4 of our children know something is up but are either too young to understand or we want to protect them from knowing about the situation. Its the abuse we are struggling with. The death threats. The trying to consol and explain the steps needed to be taken towards putting all the broken pieces back together, then being abused over suggesting those steps. I don't know how to talk to him anymore. I've tried to be gental, I've tried to be assertive, I've tried to reason, and be logical. It all fails.
So I do wonder if hes clean or if his brain is just far too hurt.
Does your son understand what's going on? It may be worth chatting with his psychologist, just to assist them in being able to further help your son. The abuse and death threats are just not on - regardless of a drug or not. Is your son still seeing his dad? Is there a custody agreement between yourself and your ex? This is another thing you may wish to look at. You can contact a family relationships service/centre for advice on this as well.
The dad should be doing whatever it is he needs to do to get back on track (rehab, psychologist, etc). Unfortunately you can't make people get help, they have to want that themselves.
Hubby isn't coping because he probably doesn't know how he can protect you. Your his wife, and that's his stepson so he'd be wanting to protect and shield you both but is unsure how. I'd be hard on him seeing you and your son go through this and not knowing what to do to help. Your other children would know something is up because that's just kids for you. They pick up on your emotions and how you're acting.
There are many services out there which can and will help you out. Use them. Take care of your son, your family, and yourself.
My son doesn't understand the situation. The psychologist is reluctant to give him too many details and tells me to keep it general 'dad has issues that need to be worked on' ect...so I haven't told him about the drugs. I'm worried about what I say and whether it'd shape a negative opinion of his dad....but I have a feeling his dad already shaped that opinion just with his behavior our son witnessed.
There is no custody agreement but we are in the process of getting something in place. In the meantime because of his behavior, my son's reluctance to go, and his life being in pieces, I've tried organising visits somewhere fun in public so he is safe but also so its a more positive experience for my son, then hopefully those positive visits would help rebuild their relarionship. But my ex refuses to go and I get abused over it and blamed for him not seeing his son. He seems to be in denial over how badly the drugs destroyed his life. He hasn't even got a home anymore because as far as I know he stopped paying rent and was evicted. :(
Thank you for replying to me and your helpful advice. This drug is such an evil thing and the ripple effect it has on those attached to the user, is awful!