My friend watched my 6 year old boy for me the other day, she txt me in the afternoon to tell that she found her 3 year old daughter and him in the cupboard with her girls undies in my sons hands. So when I took him home I asked him what were you doing? He said they were playing in the cupboard and he was tickling her . I asked why he took her undies off, he says I don't know. Now my friend is saying that he had intent to touch her inappropriately in the cupboard that's why he took her there, but my son tells me it was her that wanted to go in the cupboard. Then her story is now he tickled her vagina, my son says I doesn't think he did it was dark and they were playing. So my friend has told me my son is a compulsive liar. I find it rediculous to think a 6 year old was trying anything of the sort but she is convinced that my child wanted / did touch her child inappropriately. I guess my question is is this such a big deal? I just see it as kids being kids
8 Replies
6 and 3 yr olds should be supervised never alone long enough for this whole thing to occur and nobody knows what happened.
No at this stage i wouldnt say its a massive issue but it would help to know what actually occured which you wont get from the kids.
Ok 6 year olds do 'play doctor'
I remember an 'incident' when I was 5 and my neighbour and I sniffed each other's bottoms!
Kids do explore each other's bodies if given the chance and no they don't need to have been sexually abused or exposed to sex on TV etc to do it. They are curious about each other's bodies.
It's the reason that I don't leave even siblings alone in a bath together, or allow children to play in bedrooms when there friends are over. They can go, choose a toy and then play in the loungeroom or outside where I can keep an easy eye on them.
I agree with the other two commenters and will add that I have a three year old will often say yes to questions when asked even when I saw what happened and know he didn't do something.
You will never know what happened between your son and her daughter and arguing will not help the situation, perhaps ensure they aren't alone next time.
In saying that, the media points to a rise in sexual assaults by kids as young as 6 on their younger peers due to smart phones having access to the internet and kids being able to access things they wouldn't previously had access to. Combine that with their natural curiosity and unsupervised children are a recipe for disaster, no matter how innocent.
I understand why your friend is upset and irrespective of how innocent the situation may have been and any mothers inclination to never see the bad in their own children - you should be educating your son on inappropriate touching of others. I have two sons, a year apart and I supervise them always. I will supervise them with others always. Not because they may do something wrong but I want to be there to ensure they know what is appropriate behaviour and what is not and the only way to do this is if I am there to model what the right thing to say and the right thing to do is. That goes for everything - don't hit, don't spit, take turns, don't go in the cupboard together etc. My kids shower together every night and one night they were playing and giggling and trying to touch each others doodles - it only took a moment for me to say " sorry, you can only touch your own doodle - you may never touch anyone else's" They weren't in trouble and they weren't doing anything "wrong" but if not for supervision, this game might be played with someone not as understanding.
While it's kids being kids and being curious, they shouldn't have been unsupervised long enough for this to happen.
Kids do get curious, especially with her daughter being the opposite sex.
But I also see her point. It may be innocent but if I had a daughter I would flip hearing about something like this happening to her (over protective mum right here). But once again, being her house and her looking after them, she should have been supervising.
I think she's a bit like myself, over protective and worried about what happens to kids nowadays. Maybe give her some time to calm down and be rational?
I get that it beung your 3 year old girl youd worry. Equally this mum has a right that if her 6 year old boy is going to be labeled an abuser that he was put in this position and unsupervised. Concerning when its that mum who was responsible for supervision.
Yes I definitely get what you're saying. I'm definitely not labelling her son as an abuser, so please don't take my words the wrong way.
I'm more so pointing out that maybe if she has time to cool down she will see that kids will be curious and maybe instead of labelling this young man as an abuser like you're saying, maybe she will realise that it is partly her fault for not supervising and shit does happen.
Unfortunately we all have those moments where we forget to supervise, maybe go hang a load of washing or get some lunch ready and not even think about these things.
But it is possible that this mum, like myself, is a bit hot headed and doesn't think before she speaks.
It's quite easy for parents of one child (I'm assuming she only has the little girl) to automatically think that their child will be safe and not think about something like this happening.
I'm not saying the boy is in the wrong, I'm not saying he is an abuser, and I am definitely not saying it's okay for this other mum to tell people he is. I'm just trying to give a different opinion, and put it out there that at first I might be a bit hot headed and not actually consider my wrong doings or the natures of children.
Didn't mean to offend.
Thanks for your reply, no i didnt mean you i did mean the posters friend. But you make total sense.
Firstly, they should bot have been left unsupervised. Secondly, who said he took her undies off or have the adults just assumed this? The problem is there is now two kids with two different stories about what happened, being questioned by parents who could have easily changed both kids stories using leading questions. I can understand both sides of this situation in regards to how parents are feeling.