i don't even know where to begin.
is it too early to start seeing a counsellor for my 8 year old? her father and I split before she was born and ever since then he has been in and out of her life. ive tried my best to do everything I can for her to make sure she never missed out on anything and always had everything she needed. not necessarily the things she wanted but I tried. I would keep our problems between us and wouldn't talk about him around her, so I tried to shelter her from it but it took its toll on me. since this she has had to grow up a lot faster than she should have.
over the years she had gained some weight - as kids do.
but her father the nasty thing he is - would say comments that a child shouldn't hear. I know its affected her and it still is as she is getting bullied at school for it too. yes i know kids will be kids but it has to come to some sort of end especially when she stops wanting to eat her lunch or dinner.
her father moved back this year and has now got some nights a week with her. but things haven't changed - he still makes the comments to her. she is a very active little girl, plays sports and goes for long distance rides (22kms).
yes I have spoken to her dad about this, but he doesn't care, and just tells her to ignore it. it will make you stronger if you ignore it - is his advice to her.
over the last few weeks I have noticed she wont change in front of anyone, she will wait till your back is turned to try things on and has even stopped wanting to go swimming. she loves swimming - she loves anything to do with water. she had an excursion at school that she missed.
when I asked her if there was a reason behind it, or why she just shrugged her shoulders at me and looked the opposite way. it breaks my heart because she is a gentle, kind hearted little girl and wouldn't hurt a fly. I don't like seeing her like this.
am I being paranoid in thinking there could be something wrong with how she is acting and feeling? I have given her a diary to write in but I don't know what else to do. she wont talk to me or anyone so I don't know what is going on.
any advice on what to do because I feel as if I am failing my own daughter.
thank you x
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4 Replies
Oh darling. I'm a dietitian, and the amount of women with disordered eating (either over eating or under eating) that come in and can pinpoint the exact time in their life where they started worrying about their weight is unbelievable. Many women would say "when I was 11, my father told me my thighs were fat" and so on. I definitely think that seeing a child psychologist is an excellent idea. If you are worried about her diet or seeing signs of a potential eating disorder, it is probably a good idea to see a dietitian too. You can ask for s referral for both from your doctor. Your ex definitely seems to be contributing majorly to the way she is feeling. Best wishes xx
Mine was when my mum complained she was fat and needed to diet, yet she was smaller than I was!
Not too early. The psychologist should also give you strategies and ways to approach things at home. It's not really all sitting and chatting. The work you do at home with her will be just as important
It is never too soon to see a councillor or physiologist if you are having issues. If your little one is struggling, get a referral to a good child psychologist to give her the skills to succeed.