I have just found out I am pregnant with baby #2. There will be about 20 months between my son and this baby. After taking 6 years to conceive baby #1 I didn't expect to fall so soon/ easily this time around. We are a little shocked and are now feeling a little worried about them being so close in age and how my son will cope with another baby in the house. I have also been told how unfair this will be on our son and feel incredibly guilty although extremely grateful at the same time. If anyone has any advice they could share it would be greatly appreciated!
10 Replies
I have daughters that are 14 months apart and i became a single mum when the youngest was 3 months old. Include your son in the preparation for bubs arrival. And even after bub is born include him in things you are doing with bub..ie..come on xxx can you help mummy change oooo nappy. You may even find he just wants to play with his own toys. Have a good routine in place before bub is born that way it wont be a double shock of new routine and new bub. Also if you can put ur son in child care even just one day a week for him to play/learn with kids his own age. Lastly your are not being unfair to your son you and your husband are giving him a lifelong friend. Good luck mumma xo
Kids close in age are easy! You do basically the same thing for them. You can entertain them a lot easier. Bigger age gaps are hard, you can't entertain a toddler and a school child with the same thing.
You'll be fine :) it's not unfair on your son at all! Your son will probably love having a little sibling to play with.
That's a horrible thing for someone to tell you and they should be ashamed of themselves. I'm sure it will be just fine... They will be great little mates xx
My sisters are 18months apart. That was in an era where the only choice in nappies was old cloth ones. My mum used to have to have to soak them, rinse them out by hand then put them in the wash and hang on the line. Time consuming for two kids in nappies!
Anyway my point is my mum managed fine, the kids are all great, we've grown up well, my sisters aren't damaged by the experience. I'm sure my mum could have done with some more sleep but we lived to tell the tale.
My children are 18 months apart. Like yourself, it was not planned. I also freaked out my whole pregnancy how having a new baby with my daughter so little herself would affect her.
Now, I couldn't imagine it any other way! My daughter was still young enough when her baby sister came along that she hasn't reached that jealous/possessive stage yet so there was nothing but love and curiosity for the baby. Now they are 2.5 and 1 and have the most amazing bond!! I now see only positives for having them so close together.
Try not to stress to much Mumma, everything works itself out somehow! And congratulations!!!
I have three children that are roughly 20 months apart.
6.3, 4.8, 3.1
It's crazy town but so fun!
When they are newborns I found that they didn't really do much slept most of the time so didn't really make much of difference to the toddler.
Now that they are a little older they are all basically into the same things love watching the same shows toys etc
My parents have 6 children. There is 8 years between 1st and 4th then 5 years between 4th and 5th. Which was a pretty big gap for my parents, so they had another one ? No.6 is 18 months younger than No.5.
Last 2 are girls and they have been best friends since No.6 was born.
They are now 18 and almost 20 and still the best of friends.
They will always have a playmate close in age. Congratulations and good luck
My boys are 13 months apart
And are best mates
Ages now are 19 & 20
Was extremely hard though in the early stages
Was like twins really
But I didn't have much help
We moved away from friends and family
So what I'm saying it helps to have good friends and family close by to help out
Me and my sisters are 20 months and then 18months apart ! My
Mum
Did great ;) my kids are 21 and 23 months apart ! I currently have a 5,3and 1 yo I can say it's hard work but it's definitely doable ! The great thing about them being close is that they like similar things ! The toys remain age apprise for all of them and only now is the 5yo starting to want different things , they all
Play together beautifully ! It's actually nice to have them close ! I'm not sure who told u it was bad but don't listen !! Your and they are going to be fine ! You'll find ur feet together !
My two sons are 21 months apart and like you I took a long time to conceive and was not expecting to fall so quickly with the second. I luckily had no one tell me it was unfair on my first born but had I been told that, I would reply that there are plenty of families with lots of children in them and you could say the same thing about them and the time spent being less than with one. What a silly thing to say, but people will always have an opinion. It's a shame that it isn't a perfect world where people only say things that are nice, but they don't, so you only have yourself and your own common sense to follow.
Sorry to rant but that really annoys me and obviously if it irks me, I've had plenty of Debby Downers that will always tell you how hard it is or what you should or shouldn't do. Parenting is hard enough. Just try not to listen and look at all the positives - (as it's fairly fresh for me - my youngest just turned one and my eldest just turned 3 last week) Ill try and think of as many as I can right now.... :)
How cute it is that they have the possibility of being great mates because they are so close in age. Hand-me downs are easy to keep track of, I just keep everything in size order and in the cupboard lol same with toys. They play together really well since my youngest started walking and were pretty good even before that. Sometimes if I've run out of nappies for one I can squeeze one into the other or easily put a larger nappy on the smaller kid.
I've even found ways around stuff that I thought I couldn't do - parks are hard but if you look and drive around a bit - you'll find them to suit. I've done a lot of internet searching for pools that have a shallow enough paddling pool that they can both enjoy a dip. We went swimming this morning in fact. I bought a baby wearing harness and wore the second ALOT and I even joined a baby wearers group to take the edge off and make me feel more normal. I joined tonnes of playgroups and kept looking until I found ones to suit. For a while bedtime was a nightmare but by chance, I was taking the baby in to read the oldest a story before sleep and their routines just synced for a nice long period of time.
Sure there are hard bits - I never thought the first 12 months would be easy but I challenge any parent with more than one kid to tell you its a piece of cake. Congratulations and good luck!