I am afraid to take that final step! That's probably why I haven't left already. Things are slightly better than before. His alcohol issues arent as bad, but his moods and attitudes at home stink a lot of the time! Don't get me wrong...we have good days. But I always wonder who's going to walk in the door. My son said to me tonight "You 2 should make decisions equally, I dont think its fair its always Dads way". I worry for the life I'd be denying my children by leaving. No more acreage to run around on and the toys that come with it...No horse in my oldests future if I go etc. And he would be able to buy their affections I fear. But they are constantly on eggshells, as am I. If he's an scary intimidating arse now, I dread to think what he'd be like if I left.... and with his children no less. Im sick of waiting for the mood drop and the anger and nit picking to start, and the swearing at all of us. (No matter how much I ask/tell him to stop) I think we're all sick of walking on eggshells. I feel like such a coward and a failure! I wish I had the courage to say "I'm leaving for a while until you sort your issues out and stop taking it out on us!" I just wish he'd hit me some days so I have physical tangible evidence and can say 'See this bruise, THIS is why I'm leaving'. You cant see the ones on the inside. ( please don't think I'm belittling anyone who goes thru DV, thats not my intention at all).
And who is gunna want a untidy, fat 40ish woman with 3 kids and emotional baggage. Although that would be a long time down the track....a loooooooong way!!
Its such a big step....when is enough...enough. Now that we've made it through the peak of his awful behaviours and things are a bit dilluted now, the reason I say now seem petty and stupid in my own ears... I'm not sure anyone out there can help me, except me, I suppose I just needed to talk and get it off my chest. Thanks for being there IM's xoxo
Some days I just wish he'd hit me!!! Feel like such a coward
Some days I just wish he'd hit me!!! Feel like such a coward
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Behaviour, Kids
5 Replies
Wow this is abuse to u and your children
This type of behavior is affecting you and your children something. Needs to change
Either his abusive taunts or you have to walk away with the children
No one deserves this
Call legal aid
Centrelink
Woman's help line
To get more info on your rights
And advise
Your kids will be better off without the swearing and belittleing
Verbal abuse is just as bad as physical abuse
I hope this helps
All the best
Your kids might miss out on material stuff when you leave their dad, but you're not benefitting them by staying. He's abusive (and not just to you!), and probably killing their spirits. Sounds like he's already killed yours. By not leaving, you're further subjecting them to this life. Your son already knows its not right. Do you want them to grow up thinking this is how relationships are? What do they deserve more? Should the chance to have a lot of things come with a side of abuse, or live most of the time in a peaceful, happy home? I know what I'd pick. I'm not saying it's easy, but it'll be worth it!
Staying is doing more damage than leaving!
Your kids need one home that is a safe haven. They don't need horses.
When your kids are pointing out things are wrong it's long time past to leave.
Who cares if you find a new guy! So what. Has it ever occurred to you you could be perfectly happy single. But even then guys will still want you, because when you leave the home of an oppressor you start to shine.
Wow don't you ever say "who's going to want me" never!! You aren't what you say you are! you have probably become a product of this relationship and are feeling down but trust me if you let him go you will find yourself and your amazing self will attract the same please don't say never there are many amazing men out there that deserve you this one doesn't! Also a happier you will make for happier kids I have been through this please leave him to either make him realise what he's lost because he's taking you for granted and to better yourself for your kids or to find someone who deserves your love.
I felt exactly the same way you do now. It was like I had to draw a line for myself somewhere and after years of verbal, emotional, psychological and financial abuse I knew that if he turned physical that would be it. He did turn physical, and I left him that very day. That was 6 years ago, and I still struggle with the lasting effects of the verbal and emotional abuse, that was the most damaging part for me. I left the relationship with 3 children (the youngest was 2) and we've never looked back. I remarried last year to a wonderful man who treats my children as his own, and we've just welcomed another baby. I had no idea life could be this good, and it all started with taking that one step. I only wish I had be done it years earlier. Sending you love and the strength to do what's right for you and your children x