I am running on empty... my son is 1 and has never slept through the night ever. As the year has gone on my DH is helping less and less. When our son was a baby and he would take him Saturday and sunday mornings just so I could sleep (when i say take him i mean take him from the bedroom into the lounge room) as he got older he started taking him Sunday mornings. That was fine at least i could recharge. Now i struggle to get dh to take him for more than 45mins on a sunday morning. I am struggling. Big. Time. I get it that DH works and i am stay at home mum. I so thankful that i get that opportunity. Our son is very active. He needs to be doing something all of the time. So our days are BUSY. I love my son more than words could ever say but i am soooo exhausted. Its Wednesday and twice this week ive ended up in tears trying to get organized for the day because its a struggle. Today i just sat on the floor and sobbed. My son came over and gave me a kiss and did silly things to make me smile. Hes such a sweetheart i really so lucky. my son is teething so hes cranky as well as energetic. I am.just finding it harder and harder to remain and gentle parent. My son is very inquisitive, which i love. But it means he likes to tip out the dogs bowl, climb, pull things out of the cupboard ect... i completely understand why hes doing it but my exhaustion is getting to me. I am a bitch to DH. i don't mean to be but im just so tired.... i dont have the energy to make small talk. Or hear about how tired he is (he sleeps through the night. Every night.) I just feel like im not.enough anymore. Im.struggling. what do i do? Im losing myself completely.
9 Replies
Put him in childcare for a day. Even if it was once a fortnight. Don't feel guilty to look after yourself first. What you are currently doing is not working and unsustainable. It's time for a change.
Time for day care! One day a week can make a huge difference. I used to go home and sleep. It was wonderful, and my son LOVED daycare.
I used to work in a day care. And have horrible anxiety. I know there are soo many lovely ladies but I also know ladies who pretend to be lovely but arent. I can't put him into care. I wouldnt cope unfortunately.
Hi IM just to clarify are you the OP or commenting
***assuming you are the OP***
It's not that you can't put him into childcare, its that you wont. Coming from someone who has depression and anxiety (but is now medicated/seeing a therapist and back feeling like I am in control of my life again), I somewhat get where you are coming from.
However, you aren't coping the way things are. Something needs to change. You need time to yourself and time to sleep. Your partner isn't helping as much as you would like and whilst normally everyone jumps on the partners case (and in this case your partner could probably do one morning a weekend), he also may be struggling and needing sleep and a break from full time work and then full time parenting both weekend mornings. You should try to work on your strategies to manage your anxiety and at least give it a go. If it truly isn't an option, is there a trusted friend or family member that could babysit an afternoon a week or something just to give you some time to sleep?
Can you explain this to your DH?? Is he aware of it?? He may be a bit more supportive if he's in the loop. Assuming your baby has daytime sleeps - you should too. Even if it's 2-3 days a week. Every bit helps.
Also - I understand the daycare thing, my son had a horrid experience at a centre. We looked into family daycare (which I was really against) we met a few different ladies. I had an instant connection with one lady. She adores my son and now if I ever need an extra day (for work or recharging) she's there and willing. Just saying, check all your options, you may be surprised. Good luck Mumma.
Have you had your iron & other vitmaon levels checked recentley?
My youngest was like this added into the mix working part time and 2 other kids it was a nightmare. I ended up trying day care once a week. For the first month o thing the only thing i did on that day was sleep. His now up to 2 days a week and loves it has got friends and loves the staff. I felt so guilty about sending him but had no other option as we dont have any family support
Sounds like you may have depression.
Get to your GP and get checked. They can also help with your anxiety.
You should really start looking in to child care. Seems like family day care would be your best bet. You get to meet these women one on one so can see which one is best for you. It has done wonders for my son.
As for sleeping through the night, look up "the baby sleep company" on Facebook. They have special online sleep programs that work! Money back guarantee.
What you're currently doing isn't working for you, so you need to make changes!.
You can't just expect the husband to take care of the kid on the weekends so you can sleep. That's not how parenting works. It can also be the cause of the man to feel too much pressure and want to leave. Especially when you're essentially treating them like crap.
I know how you feel. I've been a sleepless mess too. There were times (there still isn't at all really) I couldn't palm both my sons off on anybody. Their dad works away. We don't live near family. No real friends. There were times I'd be living on 2 hours of broken sleep a night. And that wasn't due to just the kids. Hard to get a break when you're doing it solo.
Also, you don't need to entertain him all day.
Baby gate him in to one room (we have the lounge room), give him some toys, put ABC for kids on, and sit on the couch and rest whilst he plays. By "rest", I don't mean sleep. Just close your eyes and do some focused breathing. Breathe in for 4 seconds, out for 7 seconds.