asking for friend.. don't post on fb
i'm fuming. there is 3 kids in this dynamic. partner and I have one together and 1 each to an ex.
he has always had a troubled relationship with his ex. she is crazy. she's the type that got pregnant hoping that they would end up in a relationship (they weren't together). he rarely gets to see his child. he has been to mediation twice and both times it started well for 2-3 months then all the excuses under the sun about why he couldn't see her. the child apparently has separation anxiety and cant have a night without her mum but sleeps over at her friends houses as well as his 2 sisters.
the mum puts all this stuff in her head why she shouldn't be seeing her dad and when she comes over she cries because she thinks shes doing the wrong thing by her mum.. we did her room up, bought toys, clothes, everything so she would feel comfortable.
we didn't realise how bad it was until the kid was at his sisters one night and they were coming over to ours. the child had a panic attack about seeing dad and getting in trouble of mum (shes 7).
there started to be alot more drama with the mum again not wanting the child to see her dad, so my partner decided that he would probably be best off leaving her be with her mum so as not to damage her emotionally anymore.
now the problem is, we have just found out that his 2 sisters and parents have been seeing the child in secret, under the conditions that she is not to see her dad. i am so upset for him. we only found out accidentally when we happened to be in the area and didn't call before we were dropping in.
the reason we were given is that she should have a relationship with her grandparents and her cousins. I'm sorry but wtf about her dad and her siblings. he is devastated and doesn't know what to do.
he has never done anything wrong other than not want to be with the mother. I'm not sure why the mum thinks its important for her to know all the extended family but not her immediate family. how could his family do this to him. if he didn't want to see his child then fair enough but he would love to. we don't have the funds to go to court and that's what it comes down to.
What am i meant to tell my child when she is old enough about this girl. its your sister but you're not good enough for her to know but your cousins are.
we have our nieces birthday next week and i don't think we are going to go as his kid would be there. she wasn't allowed to come to our daughters birthday. if he/we were allowed to see his child there would be absolutely no problems but hes not. now it kinda feels like his family have picked them over us. we will either walk away from all of them if this keeps happening or ask them to choose. it feels wrong both ways but why should him and our kids suffer.
i don't understand women like this. my ex sees my child whenever he wants. comes around for dinner with his partner and their child. some women just need to grow up, realise that it effects men more than they think. this is why the commit suicide. this is why they get depressed. wake the hell up you selfish bitches,
2 Replies
I'm sorry but is there something missing in this story? A vindictive ex, I get that, but his family betraying him? Are you only hearing his side of the story? I would speak to the sister and mother and find out what the go is, straight from the horses mouth. Either there is more to your partner than you know or his family are plain arseholes and I really feel for him. When it's 1 person conspiring against someone (like an ex), I get that, but his own family, red flags for me.
Agree there may be more.but then people are self centred assholes. My family are like this only concerned about themselves. They would do this behins my back and say its my choice and why should they miss out. Zero concern for the situation it puts the kids in.
I think him not seeing her is clearly not the solution. Shes seeing everyone anyway but as you said its you who should be closest missing out.
Go back to mediation and court and get her into a dr to help her cope.