I have a house inspection in 2 days.
All my kids are autistic
My house is trashed, I'm booked solid with appointments tomorrow, had appointments today, play therapy, occupational therapy, psychology, speech therapy, key worker.
I have one daughter right now in full meltdown, this will last for hours tonight now she's started
Another daughter sensory seeking so tearing my lounge room apart.
One son currently non-verbal, hiding in his messy room, he won't talk or respond until I stop asking/expecting him to help.
2 older ones who try but lose interest/motivation/focus super fast
Everything I do is quickly undone
I don't know how to do this on my own.
I've already rescheduled it because the kids dad was supposed to help me get kids to appointments last Friday and take them for the weekend, but he decided to go on a romantic weekend with some internet random, leaving me to do it all on my own.
I usually let the house go between weekends off, I get their clothes clean, was dishes, cook, sleep, until they go to dads for the weekend and I power clean in peace.
Between the meltdowns and sensory seeking and appointments, I'm exhausted, almost too exhausted to cook dinner, let alone scrub the bathroom, scrub the walls, mop the floors, pick up clothes and toys and shoes that just get chucked around again the second I turn my back
I'm terrified if they come in to my house like this, I'll be evicted, if I'm evicted I won't find another house, kids will end up with their (mostly distant) dad or in foster care. And then I have panic attacks and can't move at all.
Next week, most appointments will be over for the year, but this week it's chockers and I'm lost.
How do I do this??
House inspections with autistic kids
House inspections with autistic kids
Posted in:
Mental Health, Anxiety & Depression, Self Care, Parenthood Guilt, Kids, Aspergers & Autism
8 Replies
Ok breathe. Heres two very important things - you DO NOT have to scrub walls. They know you live in it, just want to check for damage and longterm grime. A surface clean is fine. Kick it all under the beds & into cupboards.
And two. If you really cant do that, you dont get evicted. You get a notice to remedy. Time to fix it.
So take a breath. Its not as bad as that. Its not pleasant, and might be embarrassing and not to the standards you want, but youll get through it.
Also, see if you can reschedule if you think extra time will help.
Good luck. I hate inspections too :(
Yep, you won't get evicted on one inspection. They will give you a to do list and come back to inspect later.
As the other person said, hide things under bed etc.
Also look at your NDIS funding for next year, you might be able to use some funding for house cleaning. As ongoing bad inspections will get you evicted so it's worth using some funds for tidying/cleaning before an inspection.
Ok. Firstly you need to relax because they can't evict you after only an initial inspection... They ask you to remedy anything they aren't satisfied and then they must return to revisit.
Secondly, you are not alone :-)
Something that may very well help hun is outsource some help. Pop an ad on FB, Gumtree or other sites and advertise for a cleaner. Sometimes we really do need an extra pair of hands hun and yours are quite full! Advertise well, quick cash in hand job of household cleaning. List a few things you'd like them to do. Work out how long it may take them to do and most important how much you would pay them.
If you think it's possible in a day, have it organised and set in stone for the day before inspection.
But it's crucial to meet the likely candidate first. So maybe invite them over a few days beforehand to show them the place. Have them committed to doing it first so your not caught up. But always have a back up hun :-) invite your next possible cleaner too, again get the commitment and if your first person doesn't show you've got a back up.
Then you can take the kids out for the day. Pop back in when necessary.... And when the day is done, come home and do whatever else needed to be done that you didn't ask of the cleaner to do (washing, ironing etc).
Sometimes we all need that extra pair of hands when things get tough. And keep in contact with this such person and maybe offer a couple hours a fortnight to save snowing yourself under :-)
They always say, a clean home is a happy home. But it's even better if you didn't clean it yourself.
It might also be time to apply for government housing if you haven't already! If you have kids with autism often that pushes you up the wait list. Much less stress regarding inspections etc
Where do you live? I know exactly how you feel & it's an absolutely horrible feeling ? If you live close by I'd be happy to help you out.
Is there a Carers agency that you're part of. Carers Australia can help you with cleaners and dinners if you need it just to give you a break. You're an amazing mum.
They aren't going to kick you out for clutter/toys on the floor/under the bed/ drawings on the walls. I've got 2 Autistic children and an ADHD 3.5 yr old. I always manage to pass my inspections and I do it all on my own. I may not get any sleep the night before the inspection and I always drop the kids off as early as I can to school and daycare if they have it but I manage. Have you spoken to your LAC about using some funding for gardening/cleaning. Things that will improve your child's quality of life. Therapy is not the only beneficial thing for a child. I have clutter everywhere, I have drawings on the wall and my yard is far from perfect. But I always manage to pass an inspection. If you can spray your shower with bathroom cleaner once a week and soak your toilet in toilet cleaner, make sure your dishes are done nightly and the vacuuming and mopping happen at least once a week after everyone goes to school or even bed then you're on your way. Have you seen a doctor about your depression? I found when I was depressed that I didn't clean often but when a rent inspection came around I'd buy 3 giant cans of energy drink and get it all done in a night. I feel for you mumma but it is possible. Sometimes we just need to give ourselves and our little people a swift kick up the butt and focus on what is needed to be done. Also helps that 2 out of 3 are on medication to make them sleep and I always make my older one pitch in and use technology as a bribe. Ie you either do what I ask or you won't see it until after the inspection. I also always tell my kids that a lady is coming to look at our house and if she doesn't like what she sees then she can make us move out of our house. They've decided they don't want to leave here so it usually works.
I'm a property manager so my advice is just call the agency and tell them your predicament - hopefully they are decent humans and arrange a new inspection for a time in the near future that will be suitable for you
If they refuse allow them access, the worst you get is a formal notice to remedy the breech of lease which gives you more time to fix the issue. You can't be evicted from 1 bad inspection. In all honesty mess is not something I worry about, it's checking to make sure your bathrooms are nice and clean, there are no repairs to report, no health hazards, the cleanliness of your kitchen and appliances, the flooring etc and make sure there is no serious neglect. Physical mess from toys / unwashed clothes /unfolded laundry and clutter doesn't make you dirty - it's called having kids!!! As a property manager I just want to see that you are looking after the house in a way I know there won't be issues when you vacate! Alarm bells would be going off at holes in walls, stained filthy carpets, bathrooms that haven't been cleaned in weeks/months oven grill and range hood not being cleaned regularly enough etc etc
Don't stress! Be honest with your property manager you might be (hopefully) surprised at how understanding people are! Good luck! (Even though you don't need it)