Although effort had been made to improve an alcohol induced unhappy home by my husband, he still drinks every day, less than before i spose, but is angry, irrational, unreasonable at times, getting more often again. Not just me but my kids too are often the recipients of his rants...its hard seeing them so upset. I have lost a lot of trust and its really hard to earn trust lost back. I have never threatened to leave, but hand thought it numerous times. However I have have told him "we cant go on like this" twice.. Most of the time I am more relaxed when he's not around. I am scared to leave, wouldn't know how or where to start, and he's always said I'd be leaving without the kids! He's a great provider but as soon as he's stressed, he's short tempered and angry. People make the excuse for him that he's under a lot of stress, and so does he, but I'm bit sure that makes it acceptable. Life's always hard!. He wont seek help, I have asked a few times, neither personal, marriage, AA or anger counselling. I know Im no angel, and everything is behind bills, housework etc and i don't blame him for being frustrated, although I feel like everything is always my responsibility and therefore my fault....I go between 'oh yay!! Hes happy, being good tempered, everything will be ok ?' and 'Here we go!, he's being so nasty and irrational, I cant do this anymore ?' I don't know what to do. How to go about leaving if I do...Do I sit him down and tell him, or leave when he's not home? I have 3 kids and no where to go. He has a business thru home and his relatives living on the same block, so I would need to go, which i think i would prefer anyway. Help me sisters! What do I do? ??
2 Replies
Firstly you contact centrelink and find out your entitlement should you leave (and I think you need to). Then you contact legal aid or a women's legal service to find out where you stand legally. I left with 2 kids and a third on the way. It is hard but you can do this.
It's time to go, this is toxic and not good for the kids. Get your ducks in a row in private and leave while he is at work.
If you have friends or family that could put you up for a few months while you get things sorted properly do that.
I'd also speak to a DV support group as I wonder if things are worse than you've specifically described.