My 17 year old son has just opened up and told me he is gay.
I'm very proud of him to tell me this as he said how scared he was.
I told him no matter what that I still love him and it doesn't change anything.
But I'm not sure where to go with it now. I want to make sure that he makes the right decisions etc regarding this.
Are there any mummas out there who can give me some direction about what's next?
As I said I am 100% supportive but I feel I may cycle through different emotions over the next bit adjusting to it all.
I only want the best for him and as a parent going into this completely blind as in I've had gay friends etc but haven't had to parent anyone through this phase.
Where do I go for help and support?
Son Opened Up He Is Gay
Son Opened Up He Is Gay
Posted in:
Teenagers, Tips and Advice
3 Replies
My Brother is gay and came out to me when we were in our early twenties. It was no surpise to me as I'd always known. I just treated him the way I've always treated him, was open and welcoming to his partners and one of his partners he was with for 8 years has become my surrogate brother. My parents were a little taken back as my Dad's a country boy and they never really knew anyone who was gay. They blamed themselves (Dad wasn't around much when we were little) and they thought that maybe he'd meet a nice girl and all would be well (that could only happen if he's bisexual). Mostly they worried for him because being gay means you are a target for a lot of shit from ignorant people.
The best advice I can give you is to treat him the same way you've always treated him, be there for him just as you would have been previously and be a staunch advocate for him because there may be times when he needs it. For example, I am heavily pro marriage equality because why should my brother have less rights than me!!! Never refer to it as a choice because it's not, that's just the way he's made. If I'm brutally honest with you the only difference is who they're attracted to and what they get up to in the bedroom and quite frankly that's no one else's business but his.
If you feel you need support then you can contact your local PFLAG http://pflagaustralia.org.au/ and other parents who have been where you are will be able to share their experiences with you.
You don't need to do anything. Everything is the same except for who he is attracted to. So you don't need to guide him or do anything more than you've already done.
He will have some relationships with people you won't like and some relationships with people you do like, just like if he was straight.
I'm assuming he has received sex ed and knows about STDs just like if he was straight.
Just be there to support him and listen like you would anyway.
Hi there,
My son told me at the same age that he was gay. He is now 22.
When he told me I was so surprised. I shouldn't have been but I was. I often tell people that even though I thought and said all of the right things BEFORE I knew my own son was gay, it is still confronting. I was worried about things like him getting bashed, him changing, even him not getting married and having children. There was a time of something like grief however I also knew that he was still the same kid I adored and trusted him to make good, sound decisions.
His friends were very accepting and so were we. His younger brother and sister and his dad didn't bat an eye when told. Everything stayed the same and why shouldn't it? He is a normal person just like the rest of us.
Fast forward to now and he is in a wonderful relationship with a gorgeous guy who is 4 years older than him. They are very happy and are about to move in to their new home. We will miss him living with us but are so happy for them.
You don't have to parent your son any differently than you already are. He is still the same young man that you have parented for the last 17 years. I do know the range of emotions you are feeling but the sense of confusion wears off - really.
Best of luck xx