Hi bit of background 7yr old hasn't seen his birth dad in over 3yrs they talk on phone when suits but time is limited dads choice he's always just to busy
I'm currently pregnant to new partner been with for 2yrs my child calls him dad confusing yes we have been talking lots about names first n last and asking kids for input he also has kid with ex who we share custody 50/50
My 7yr old has asked to change his last name to mine I txt his dad asking and he said sure who would want his name when he can't even visit n never buys him things ect gives me this sad story saying he will sign paper and he regrets not ever being their ect
Do I allowe a 7yr old to do it or should I just change it at school as a preferred name and leve it till he's older ? It's a lot of $ to legally change it all and we r not very well off also any advice would be good thanks
5 Replies
I'd change to preferred and leave legal for when he is in his teens at least.
Change it. But are you about to name the baby something different. Are you going to change your name? A seven year old cant consider these things.
The new baby will have both our names until or if we get married
If you plan on changing yours i wouldnt change theirs. It will end up different to both their parents. And their sibling. Changing names is hard on a kid its their identity. ive done it once thats why i say do it as early as possible. I wouldnt do it twice. I wont change my name or theirs if i remarry. i definitely wouldnt use a name without legally changing it.
I chose a surname i would keep with or without being married and gave that to both children (changed the older one ) and there will be no more changes.
A similar thing happened to me as a child but my father refused to sign the papers so legally it couldn't be changed.
My mum changed it at school (I was in grade 6 at the time) and then everyone was asking me why my name changed and I had to tell them the situation with my parents which really upset me every time. My mum then told me when I was old enough to start working to put her surname down on everything even though it wasn't my legal name and so my tax file number and super etc was all put into her surname which caused a lot of problems later on. I had to eventually get everything changed back to my legal surname which proved a nightmare but I got it worked out eventually.
It just got too confusing have two different names and when I was older I reconnected with my dad and we are now the best of friends and I have been working in our family business for 7 years.
My mum did the same thing for my brother and when he turned 18 he legally changed it himself as he just thought it was easier than trying to do what I did and change everything back.
The way I see it now as an adult is that it's just a name and I will marry and change it anyway and it was just a lot of drama that I didn't need as a child.