I hate the fact xmas brings out the worst in families. My parents want to always play big happy families at xmas time but reality is no one ever talks to anyone else. Myself and 2 brothers do everything we can to avoid each other at all costs.
I have a family and 3 kids my brothers have long term partners but no children. They are always off doing stuff that couples do ect. They have for years let my kids down with different events to the point now they dont even make an effort. Iam sick of making up excusses and covering for them with my kids that now i just avoid them at all costs to stop seeing the hurt in my kids when they reject them for the upteenth time.
So now my mum wants to have a big xmas bash on xmas day that no one can agree on and that no one is particularly wanting to attend. My parents dont understand my point of view in regards to my kids and their disapointment and always brush it off as everyone is busy with life. Iam seriously dreading xmas day these issues have been going on for years and seem to be coming to a head.
I dont know what to do. Honestly i would love to just spend xmas at home with our little family and not go anyware but thats never going to happen. I dont want to be the person that everyone hates for ruining xmas but i dont want my kids to be treated like crap for another year. Iam finally putting my foot down and everyone is cracking it with me saying iam creating drama these issues have always been their iam just airing them instead of sweeping them under the rug again. What do i do ? Should i just cancel xmas ??
3 Replies
Something I have learnt about my family is you cannot make them be a particular person you want them to be. The sooner you realise this and get over the fact that they are indeed who they are, the more easier it will be to accept. Childless couples lives are so different to those that have families. They are usually selfish and you know what they can be. They have no clue what life and sacrifices families with children make and that's ok, how can they. Move on, accept them for who they are and embraces their good qualities.
UPDATE; i confronted both my brothers about the way they treat my kids. I managed to keep it together for the whole time even tho i was breaking inside. One told me its all in my head and i need help but still refused to do anything with my kids and the other refused to talk to me. They have both since then decided they no longer want anything to do with myself or my kids. As heartbreaking as this is that my children have been rejected iam so greatful their other aunties and uncle from the other side are more than happy to pick up the slack.
For this exact reason this xmas we are camping. I love my mil and fil but my husbands brothers bar 1 who is not in a relationship make no effort with us. Hey i dont even get included in the hey baby has arrived messages, no. infact a mutual friend messages me and says congrats aunty and thats how i find out.
Fil loves his grandsons by hubbys brothers. I only have girls. And they dont know what to do with them. one brother buys presents for his nephews but forgets my kids, his nieces.
And my family; well mum expects us to do a 4hr round trip on xmas day plus see the inlaws after with 2 kids and her husband is an ass. So before i had even booked leave from work let alone booked camping i told them all we were going away and eventually hubby just followed suit now its booked.
My thought is fuck it im going to have a nice xmas where i csn sit on my arse relax and have a wine and enjoy the day with my family; hubby me and the kids. Because they are my no1 and this year im putting us first!