After advice...my husband hasn't seen or had contact with his son for years...each time he has attempted his ex is confrontational and bossy so he backs down not wanting to cause friction or make it awkward for his son. He pays A LOT of child support and it is impacting our family moving forward and getting a home loan as it's seen as a liability. He is attempting mediation at the moment but we have been told that the mediatiors will only attempt 3 times then they stop as they can't force her to take part. According to the child support paperwork she earns more money than him...but because he has 0% contact he pays the whole allocation of child support. If she won't allow or support contact is there a way to get the child support reduced? Or where to if she doesn't agree to mediation? We don't have a lot of cash to splash on court fees. Any advice appreciated.
5 Replies
You can self represent in court.
No you can't get the child support reduced.
i agree with above, self represent in court. Bossy and confrontation and awkwardness are not enough excuse to not see your own child, support him, work as a team, get your ducks in a row and do it together. You've got this. I can imagine it would be a bitter pill to swallow, paying child support when you don't get access to your child and your ex earns more, but try to focus on that fact it is for the child and not her, as hard as that is. Good luck.
You can appeal to child support to reduce the amount your partner pays but he will have to be able to prove that paying as much as he is, is impacting his ability to support his now family.
If she is refusing to participate in mediation then your partner will end up issued with a certificate, use this in court, it won't look good for her, seek a no win no pay lawyer, see if eligible for legal aid or have your partner represent himself. I feel like there is more to this story.
I've been thinking about this one and my instincts tell me:
1. Your partner obviously hasn't really tried over the years if the worst he can say is she is "confrontational and bossy". Awkward is avoiding someone at a party, awkward is not a word you use when avoiding contact with your own flesh and blood.
2. Don't assume she won't do meditation, you might be surprised, cross that bridge when you actually get to it, I don't think your partner has been completely honest with you.
3. If she has actually refused contact, go with your eyes wide open and listen to the reasons.
4. I don't know if this is true, but your post comes across as, we just applied for a loan, child support is too high, so let's go for visitation to reduce it. Please don't see the child as a liability, they are a little person with feelings whose life will be affected by all of this.
5. You can self represent in court, it is hard work, but for those who really want visitation, they do it.
6. Approach with caution, do not form opinions on the ex based solely on his version of events, or you made be blind to the truth.
Wouldn't it be so much better if instead of working so hard to have the child support reduced you could all work that hard to have something to do with his kid.