Hi mums and dads needing advice here
What do you use your child support payments for? We have mr13 35/75% (more at mums) and have just had an increase in payments due to my partner earning a considerable amount more than previous years (almost $100 a week which is not as much as some i know).
Background: he goes to a private school so obviously its an expensive school. We pay half of all fees, uniforms etc (partner still not on contact list at school but that's a whole other issue) and we pay half of extra curriculars if its a weekend sport as he's with us 3 weekends a month and thats what ex wanted. Partner naturally wants to have something to do with all of it but find it difficult when son comes to us the times he does and we clothe him, feed him, uses water power etc. And still expected to pay for extra sporting and the uniforms needed for school when he's not even asked to go or told about until hes asked to put his hand in his pocket...
I guess what im asking is should he be paying now for the extras son does with the extra support on top now? We arent trying to get out of it ofcourse as he's his son but just want it fair for all
Sorry for the higgldy pigldy post!
Child Support query
Child Support query
Posted in:
Kids
7 Replies
I get what your saying. Usually with that kind of care arrangement you don't pay half of everything. Most people only do that in 50/50 situations where there is no child support being paid or very little child support.
I certainly had to find a way to pay for my sons school fees and expenses etc myself. I certainly couldn't legally expect his father to pay for private school. I think in this case it depends to if dad agrees the son is better off in private school and if that's what they would have chosen to do if they were together still etc. if it was a mutual decision to send him to am expensive school then you've got to expect to have to pay half of that.
Some parents do these arrangements because that's the right thing to do, and what they would have done if they'd stayed together versus what's legally expected.
$100 a week really isn't that much still, I know it's good compared to others I got 100 a week for awhile but it's amazing how fast it goes, Especially as a teenager. Those kids can EAT. They grow a lot, the technology alone required for school is ridiculous even for public school. Then the gas/electricity/water, cost of transporting to sporting events etc $100 goes quick.
Did the dad agree to the son going to private school?
With my DS it's a similar spilt as what you have with shared care.
All school things is meant to be 50/50, extra sport activities is meant to be 50/50 after we've discussed them.
But I end up paying far far more then the ex. He doesn't do his tax returns either as he knows he will have to pay more to support his child.
Not doing his tax returns will catch up to him one day and he will have to back pay!
I think yes you pay sports fees.
you pay child support to maintain that house that he lives in. You also pay for his clothes food and bills at yours, thats given. He still costs money on top and that is up to the parents to cover. Its a pretty low move i think for one parent to put responsibility of all of the costs onto the other. It should be split. When my child went to a psychiatrist at 100 a session, my ex started giving me an extra 100 here and there. Covered more sessions than I did. But i bought supplies for support strategies, books, clothes, i took time off work to go. Not to mention every other thing ive done and paid. But the gesture was there. Its his kid too no matter who has got the care.
13 year olds are pretty expensive so 100 per week isn't much. However, every situation is different so it has to be fair. Does she have a partner (I know CS don't consider this) that earns a lot? Is she in a better financial situation than you guys? Are you really struggling to pay? If she is a single mum and you are a 2 person income household, I would keep paying the extras on top, but if she had the support of another partner and they both work, I would look at cutting back on the extras. Look at the situation as a whole and assess it. Look at the situation with a sense of fairness and equity and you can't go wrong.
What is your families income like compared to your step sons mum's?
Could she comfortably afford to put the 13 year old though school and all the extra curricular activities he does? Or would he miss out because she would struggle to pay for them on her own?
Is paying for the extras putting such a financial strain on you guys that you finding it hard to make ends meet?
$100 doesnt particularly go far, especially for a 13 year old. They eat like you wouldn't believe and a decent pair of sports shoes can cost well over $100 and don't get me started on clothes...
Legally your partner doesnt HAVE to pay the extras, but the 13 year old is his son too and the cost of raising a child should be a shared thing.
It's so much easier to go through the child support agency, let them work out the amount (and make sure they take into account the private school fees) and then avoid any more conversations about money. If his father is taking care of him while he's in his care, that's all that matters. With a copy of his birth certificate, he can approach the school directly and ask for copies of reports and newsletters to be sent to him. Honestly, the more you can avoid the drama, the easier it will be on his son too.