need help with 3 year olds behaviour

Anon Imperfect Mum

need help with 3 year olds behaviour

At a loss. Has anyone done a parenting course and actually got something from it? I am struggling with my 3 year old. I am trying to toilet train her and she just won't have a bar of it. She never listens, is always needing to be near me, sleep in my bed and I just never have time to myself. Yes I know this is apart of being a parent. I have tried everything I can think of. Time out chairs, no TV, no movie before bed, taking toys, not letting her do something she has asked to do... I have tried treats, allowing her to do things she has asked to do, made the whole day about her but she gets bored and turns violent. I was hoping a parenting course would show me a away to deal with her

Posted in:  Behaviour, Kids

10 Replies

Anon Imperfect Mum

Im sure a parenting course would help. PPP is free online it keeps popping up for me.
If youve really exhausted everything or feel shes out of the range of normal you could try a child psychologist. I have and im really glad, ive gained insights into my child and what ahe needs from me and also learned what is normal. Its very extensive though but as i was at the end it has been worth it.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

Maybe I should look into all of this. Thank you

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Anon Imperfect Mum

I'd suggest PPP but also get your daughter looked at by a peadiatrician. Get any underlying issues ruled out.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

Sorry but she sounds like a normal toddler. Maybe the ppp class would help you cope better and manage your reactions to her behaviour.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

A 3 year old getting violent? That doesn't sound normal

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Anon Imperfect Mum

PPP is the f&^king bomb! It taught me how to adapt to raising an ODD child.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

Ppp and 123 magic are great courses. Something I have done with my son that worked really well is the star chart in reverse. You pick 5 key behaviours to work on so for my son it was hitting scratching biting head butting throwing things. You start the beginning of each day with 5 stars on each one (I used Velcro sticky dots, put the star on one side and then the other half I attached to the laminated paper beside where I'd written the problem) explain that when she does one of those behaviours she will lose a star at the end of the day if she has ALL the stars she gets a small treat (I used tiny packets of smarties) if she looses any stars there's no treat. It takes a while for them to catch on but my son was 3/4 at the time and within a week was managing to keep his stars on 3/5 things and by the 2nd week he was keeping all his stars.

The other thing I do is I count my kids back from 5. 5 works for visual as well so get their attention and 5 fingers up to start with and as a general my blurb goes a long the lines of "you have got to the count of 5 to (insert what you want from them keep it simple so they understand) if I get to 0 (insert consequence that's appropriate time out/lose of item etc)" give some time for them to respond if there's no response or just nastiness or blunt refusal ignore that, repeat and go to 4. my then 2 year old could count back from 5 before she could count to 5. I use this for EVERYTHING lol but the catch is that you have to follow through with the consequence when you get to 0 and they still have to do the task after the consequence (so say it's picking up toys then time out for not doing the task they then need to go and do
The task after time out) and if they listen at 5 praise them.

What ever you decide to do you need to stick with it, nothing will work over night and you will come to a point where after a while of it working it suddenly stops working, you need to keep going and stick to it, trust me it'll pay off in the end :)

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Anon Imperfect Mum

I have been trying star charts on my kids and they have yet to get the 5 stars to get a reward, will definitely try reversing it instead. I love that idea

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Anon Imperfect Mum

Circle of security is a fantastic parenting course too

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Anon Imperfect Mum

The best way I've found to deal with toddlers is to view everything as impulsivity. When you do this it helps you connect intuitively to the best course of action to take. Plus helps remind you that it's not going to be like that forever
I did 1, 2, 3 magic and found it awful
Circle of security was great though

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