My 7 year old daughter has decided she wants to be a boy.
It started with wanting to get her hair cut short (ear length) which we did, and she loves it! Within a day It's now progressed to wanting to wear her brothers clothes, so I have allowed her to wear her brothers pyjamas tonight and told her she is free to wear boys clothes tomorrow, the next day and for however long she wants too.
I have had a chat with her, and right now she is determined to be a boy, even went as far as asking how she can actually turn into a boy.
I want to support her in this decision, whether it's only a phase or a life changing, long term choice, I want to be her support.
My question is, how do I help her, how do I protect her from the hate, that I know will be directed? As much as I tell her that I love her and tell her to be who she wants to be, I'm scared for her too.
She's always been a real girly girl, dresses, skirts and a bit of a drama queen as such. So I know that it will come as a shock to some family and friends, I don't care what they think, I just don't want her to be hurt.
Girl to boy...
Girl to boy...
Posted in:
Kids
4 Replies
I think you maybe reading too much into this.
It's awesome you will support her whatever she wants but don't go too far.
When I was 8 I wanted a boy cut and parents let me, I also wanted to dress as a boy because the girly thing didn't suit me and I hated it.
I grew out of it though.
Yes there is a chance your daughter may end up being your son BUT for now you just need to go with what she's asking and not push the boundaries ie support her but don't go overboard because if it's just a phase then you going overboard may make it so she feels she has too.
Just take it a day at a time and wait until she's older / it's been more than a few days and if she feels this way then welcome your son
You will know by the way she is over the next while as she grows up.
Definately support her now but don't push it just let her be herself and see what comes of it
Honestly I think these are one of those situations where professional support for the parents is important. So I think a conversation with your GP and child psychologist warranted. Not because there is something wrong with your daughter, but because they can help you, help her build resilience.
You might be surprised though. Things are improving and sometimes when we as the family are matter of fact and no nonsense about things and thee child is the same then people just fall into line. But I think if you look you will find some books about 'difference'. It's something we work on a lot with my son with his disability. That yiu can be different in some ways, the same in other ways, that we should be proud of our differences and be true to ourselves and not live for other people's opinions.
I know a 6 year old that was a puppy for a couple of months! I wouldnt take her to a therapist at this point or draw attention to it, just let her be. Time will tell if she is actually the real deal or just being a kid.
At 7 I'd say it's her trying to discover more about herself and where she fits socially too ... it could be a matter of wanting to be part of the boys games/groups at school and maybe someone told her she can't because she's a girl ? Or something else ? OR maybe it is a start of her discovering who she is , but as others have said really only time will tell . My 5yo boy recently said he wanted to be a girl and although I didn't discourage it I gently explored the idea with him about what makes him want to change and he basically said it was because he thought other boys were rough and the girls weren't and he wanted to
Play 'gentle games' . We talked more about him playing which ever games he wanted to and it didn't matter if he was a boy or girl to do so and within a week he stopped talking about it and likes being a boy now ...
Keep talking with her , encouraging her and allowing her to discover . If people comment or are mean be there to talk through it with her ! And teach her resilience (bouncing back if someone says something that makes you sad )