Ok, a bit of backstory first.. My son has been diagnosed with ASD this year. My children's father was diagnosed with ODD and ADHD when he was a child.
Our daughter is 4. Recently she has started to have really intense tantrums, she hits, kicks, screams, won't do anything she is asked to do, does things repeatedly that she knows is wrong, does things to antagonise her brother and is just downright painful to be around. When I drop her a childcare, she cries and clings to me, but when I pick her up, she runs away and doesn't want to come to me! She says the most horrible things to me, which make me cry in my currently tired and hormonal state and she doesn't bat an eye!
I've recently found out that I'm expecting another baby. I dont know if this is impacting her behaviour, if her brother needing extra attention is impacting her behaviour, if this is normal 4 year old behaviour, or something else.
My son's diagnosis threw me a little, I couldn't believe I missed the "signs". I saw some red flags, but honestly thought he wouldn't get a diagnosis. I feel like I'm now seeing some red flags with my little girl (more towards the ODD side of things), but that I could also be being paranoid. But I don't want to feel like I could have done more for her, and just pass it off as me being paranoid.
I put aside special time for her, include her in as much of my son's therapies as I can and include her in daily tasks that she loves like cooking.
I don't know what to do anymore! Any of the Sisterhood able to shed some light?
4 Replies
I have a now adult son with multiple 'letters'.
What you have described could just be her being a little bugger BUT it's always worth following up with a paediatrician. Girls do present differently to boys, and so often fly under the radar. Plus your family has a history so it makes sense not to ignore your concerns. Plus as you are already probably aware, early diagnosis can make a big difference.
I think you should get her looked at by a paediatrician, an assessment won't hurt her if she doesn't qualify for a diagnosis, but not getting her assessed when she does qualify for a diagnosis could harm her and make her start at school much much harder than it needs to be.
I don't know it always helps to get help. Its a great idea and usually helps you get it clear and start a fresh new leaf.
But it also sounds likeyou have a whole lot going on, which ia going to affect her. I recently saw a teacher interact with my 4yo very very softly and sweetly and i watched as she responded. She just loved it!
I needed that to remind me to slow down and be very gentle with her.
Life was fast i was stressed and asking a lot from her. I was stressed. I thought we had a beautiful relationship but actually with a little effort and change from me, shes a very happy balanced kid again. I know youve got a lot going on, but its worth a try to just slow down and quiet down and be very kind and complimentary with her. Bring back the magic.
I would suggest getting her checked out but also asking a close friend what they honestly think. My very good friends daughter has quite a few disabilities and lots of us knew something was up from a very early age. No one knew how to bring it up with the mother as she seemed to be blind to it. The child wasn't diagnosed until she was 6. You might be suprided what other people have observed but are too scared to tell you in fear of upsetting you.
What is her diet like? Often to many processed foods and sugar can affect little people's moods. Ide look at that along with watching vaxxed. Good luck!