Over it to say the least!
I work casually, really bloody stupid long hours... My husband works here and there. Hasn't held down a job longer than 4months in the passed two years. We have two small children. He has been going through Anxiety/depression which I supported by him not working and me working practically full time for 12 months while I was pregnant with our second. We moved from one end of the state to another to get ahead financially about a year ago, and here I am still carrying us through!
Come home tonight 7pm, no dinner started like usual. Don't even get a hello, he had been drinking... He got paid from doing a couple of days work, about $300, bet it's all been blown on the pokies and piss!
I am now going to be left to pay all the bills including both our car loans, power, rent and daycare, buy food, pay for fuel for the week, and pay for this mri he needs on his foot. (was hoping this money would pay for it-yeah right).
I don't know if I actually have a question it's more of a vent, to say I am working my fucking ass off and I get fuck all and nothing for it, i am Sick and tired of carrying us through week to week. Right now, I would rather downsize, and just have my two boys and myself to look after, I don't feel like I should be paying for someone who I feel is having a free ride I have fucking had it. The moodiness, the lack of motivation to hold down a job to help support our family, then cracks the shits when I say we can't afford this that and the other that he wants.
I am fucking tired, but he has taken his ass to bed at 830.. Fucking lucky for some. And he will sleep in in the morning while I get up at the ass crack of dawn with the kids! Fuck it... I'm going out all day tomorrow, don't give a shit anymore. He can get himself to and figure out how to pay for this stupid mri!
8 Replies
Woohoo, stop letting this deadbeat hold you back. It is not acceptable what he is doing. Blowing $300 on pokies and booze is not acceptable!
I'm with you! You nailed the answer! Get out for a day, clear your head, allow him to be an adult and if it all feels the same when you take the emotion out of it, it's definitely time to move out and move on (or move him out...) Go get 'em. You do not need to be held back, he's supposed to be your 50/50 partner :/
Leave him. You'll be better off as a single parent.
Fucking amen sister!!! I have a family member who expects us all to drop every fucking thing just because they want something. Oh I can't I've got depression... Well guess fucking what I'm busy with my own little family I don't have the time, energy or tolerance levels to hear 'I need xyz from the shop buy can you go I just can't deal with going'... Suck it the fuck up or starve! I have days where I can't be fucked facing the world but I get up and I do it.. Because I HAVE to. I'm so tired of hearing depression as a reason/excuse for not working. There's all these mental health campaigns but no one gives a fuck about the family around these people. Yes they suffer from depression, and so do we... Every fucking day too. If he can go to the pub and feed the fucking pokies he can find his way to his own appointments and pay for it all himself.
Actually... Kick him out... He's taking you for granted and expecting you to be his mother, you're not... If he wants mummy tell him to fuck off home.
Wow I can't believe he spent all the money he earned in himself in such yuck ways! Thats so selfish!!! And to not bother organising tea and then to just go off to bed at 8:30 is so bad!
Poor thing. He sounds like a lazy dead beat!
He needs a big wake up call. Start taking action to leave and tell him he needs to start acting as a partner not a child. If he has depression he needs to step up and get help. You can only do so much and the rest is up to him. If he continues to disrespect you and the kids by not contributing then it's time to leave. My partner and I have problems as well mainly to to his alcoholism. His personality changes dramatically and it has damaged our relationship. He has started counselling and cutting down. However I have taking steps to leave to show I am not kidding this time, and will leave even though I will live very poorly on a low income
I had a major mental breakdown, and I still managed to cook tea for my kid, and spend money in a sensible way. I might have sobbed hysterically most of the day, and jeez I felt like going back to bed for the day, but when I didn't have a choice I just did it.
Sometimes we all need a safety net, but sounds like he has moved into being enabled!
Someone once told me there are givers and takers in this life.
You are giving and doing everything for your family, while he is taking everything.
You are already doing it by yourself and maybe it would be better by yourself. Only you can decide that. I would give him a wake up call though, first make stop doing everything for him. Sit him down and say this is how it's going to be....
If he's home he should be doing cleaning and cooking. You should not have to come home at 7pm after working and cook. Put money away into your own account every week, just in case you have to kick him out. If he doesn't help you then that's it! Try the wake up call first.