I'm sorry if this sounds all over the place. I have been married for three years we have a 6 month old daughter together. My husband and I have been having a lot of problems since I fell pregnant mainly because of him lying and drinking. He keeps promising he'll change and never does. I have a hard time trusting him. Yesterday his friend came over and even though I'm really sick ATM he decided they would go to the gym he had been really helpful over the last few days so I thought I won't complain he should get to enjoy his weekend aswell he works hard for us. They left at 12.30 at 2 I started to feel really ill and decided to check the find my friends app to see if he was on his way home as he usually only goes for an hour. It was then I seen he wasn't even at the gym he was at a brothel. I called him and asked him where he was and first he lied and said he was at another gym until I said the name of the brothel then his story completely changed to his friend wanted to go and he was sitting in the car. The both of them swear he didn't go in but he lied to me and I can't shake the disgusting feeling I have. I am pretty laid back and he knows had he have told me prior I might have even believed he wasn't going in but he didn't. He says the reason he lied was that his friend thinks of me like a sister and didn't want me to think less of him I explained to him his friend is single but he is a married man he could have come home and let his friend go alone. The last few times we have had sex he has become a lot better at it he said its because he's been watching porn to try and learn how to make me enjoy sex more but now I can't help but think maybe he's been going there instead of the gym. He is saying his sorry and denies going in but I'm so hurt I don't know what to do please help me I need advice. Would you believe him? How would you move forward? I feel so alone my baby and I are both sick and I am not coping at all.
12 Replies
Sorry I don't buy his story for one second!!!
and even if I did
I don't know any man who would be worth having in my life who thinks that sitting in the car, while his mate got laid in a brothel, while his wife and child were sick at home is the right thing to do!
Sorry but he has proven himself to be a liar and I can't think of a single reason why you'd believe that lame story. Him and his mate have clearly concocted that cover up on the way home. Total bullshit either way.
Thankyou IM I do not work currently and because baby and I are sick have been stuck in the house he's very persuasive and is good at making me feel like the bad guy for not trusting him as if it's normal or okay for married men to do this. He's saying sorry but also telling me he was not wrong he was just looking out for his mate. I have told him he needs to find somewhere to stay for awhile as I don't want to see him, he tells me I won't find a loyal husband like him and and I will regret this. I just wish he'd pack up and go.
Men don't take a chaperone. They definitely dont take a friend to the front door then decide to sit in the car and wait! Nope.
A way to move forward is to see from his behaviour that he wont change and that youre living with someone you dont even like (and rightly so, hes a jerk and you know you deserve better than this) but you are waiting for him to change. Assume he will never ever change, then decide if you still want this.
Wow. That's the biggest load of shit story I've ever heard. And I know you know he's lying through his teeth. I'm glad you've sent him packing for a while. As for his comments when he left about you nkt finding a husband as loyal as him? Haha. Far out. He's manipulating you. You can do better than that. Even if he wasn't cheating he should have come home and not waited in the car? Like what the hell? He's lying and I hope you leave his sorry arse.
I just spoke to my hubby about this.
He said it does happen and has happened to him once when he and bunch of boys were away, they were all single and he wasn't so they went and had their fun and he waited uncomfortably in reception but he said if it had happened near home there's no way he would've stayed and wouldve come home.
I'm sorry I find it hard to believe his excuse, I think you need to ask some more questions and see what comes out because this isn't right at all
I would not believe a word he is saying. And how disrespectful that you are at home sick. And he would rather sit out the front of a brothel in the car... pleaseeee he is full of it.
Exactly. The fact hes got lies and excuses and will look you in the eye and make you feel like your relationship is worth anything will make you want to stay, but sweetheart - let it show you hes a monster with a mask on. You cant do anything in a relationship like this except get the hell away from him.
I would not believe a word he is saying. And how disrespectful that you are at home sick. And he would rather sit out the front of a brothel in the car... pleaseeee he is full of it.
Sorry mumma but the lies are not ok.
Have you thought about checking bank statements from that day and also in the name of the brothel?
Speaking from experience here, my husband lies constantly, I have no trust in him anymore. He has lied to my face numerous times and will only tell the truth when I present the evidence I have.
He says he lies coz he's scared, my husband is emotionally manulipulative and abusive.
I'm now trying to protect myself and get myself in a better position to leave.
My husband promised he would get help for his issues 3 years ago, never did anything and I don't believe he will.
I would be questioning his improvement with your sex life too, especially since you've caught him out at a brothel.
Maybe you need councelling so you can air everything out.
That is the biggest load of crap I have ever heard. Do not let him trick you into his fast talking justifications. He is lying to you. He is cheating on you. Can you access how he pays for this 'hobby'? How dare he have such little regard for his sick wife & small baby. Get rid of him!! He is not a good egg.
My ex husband was going to brothels. One day I just had this gut feeling because we lived in a small town and he would go out with friends and drink at night and come home at weird hrs when I know the pubs would've all been closed and there was always a large chunk of money taken out of the bank account when clubs would've been shut.
I called the brothels to see what you would get for such and such amount of money. It started off that he was only paying for "massage - hand job" but then the money increased for the what they called the "full service" that was $150 but this was back in 2004.
Check your bank for money missing.
The lies and everything when I was trying to get to the bottom of this were unbelievable. Eventually he came home drunk one night with some bullshit story as to why money would be missing from our account.
The next day I confronted him and finally he admitted it. I packed my daughter up that day she was about 15 months old at the time and left and never went back.
He wasn't sleeping with me, once I fell pregnant he said I was a mum and that was it. said his penis didn't work so that's why we couldn't have sex.... Every time I would go out I would come home and porn would be in the video player.
No friend needs his mate to come along with him to go to a brothel and have sex. His story is utter bullshit im sorry and its up to you if you want to stick around for more of it.
People would say to me oh at least he didn't meet someone and cheat on you with an emotional attachment too... I think that would've been easier at least I know you can have chemistry with someone.... basically he chose whores over his own wife, and that is something that can never be healed.
This is total bullshit he is lying
If u want to find out he is going to a brothel and going in get someone to follow him and record his movements then confront him
U and your baby deserve more this low life is a cheating scum
If he loved u he would be with u especially when u and bub r sick