Hello lovely ladies of this sisterhood. I wanted to take the time to thank you for all the responses you wrote - I read all 300 of them. I had my surgery 3 days ago. And I just got the results back - negative for cancer. To say im relieved is an understatement. After I last wrote in, that evening, things really came to a head. There was one reason after another why i shouldnt have the surgery - none of the organisation that i had put into place was good enough. He said some things about my character and what he thought about me that in all honesty were beyond cruel. Im not sure I can really move past it. Unfortunately his thoughts about me and general attitude towards me in this situation are not an isolated incident. Historically his controlling behaviour - socially, emotionally and financially have been much worse....and in the past I never would have stood up for myself. Two years ago I tried to leave....after that I wont be trying again, I can't leave. My point being that leaving is not always an option and sometimes we have to make most of the hand we've been dealt. But tonight i can go to sleep sore from surgery but knowing I have my health and my children will have their mother.
Update: so sad it hurts and bleeding nipple
Update: so sad it hurts and bleeding nipple
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Self Care, Health & Wellbeing
6 Replies
Lovely to hear no cancer. I was the one who wrote on here about my ex treating me similar with my heart. I'm so sorry you feel you can't leave even though you want to. I hope one day you figure out a way so you can live your life and be happy. (Or that maybe he dies the prick.)
I wish you health and happiness!
Im so sorry you feel leaving is not an option. Theres always a way. Practically, you can do it. The rest is psychological and emotional, they make it seem like not an option but please don't resign yourself to this.
Tell us why you can't leave, what happened 2 years ago? We are here to support you, tell us why you can't and we will tell you why you can! We want the best for you xxxx
Sometimes in that situation, leaving makes things worse. I've been threatened with death, that I better hide really well because when he finds me I'll regret it and also been told he'll come after my family. Unfortunately he's the type I know that would actually follow through. They end up slowly taking control over everything, your friends, family, life, money and even work.
They get you. Psychologically. Theyre bullies but in the real world nobody else is scareda s rightly so. Hes a coward. He doesnt go around bashing and killing people does he? So your family and friends are safe. And trust me. They would rather deal with him than have you staying to 'protect them'.
please go and speak to a dv women's counsellor. Get some info. Right now you have fear. It feels impossible. Its dangerous and your instincts tell you freeze, dont move dont rock the boat and you wont set him off. Because youre operating under such great stress, youre in survival mode.
Please get some more info. Thwy will help you to be careful in the right ways.
The reason I wrote that comment is because I very much understand what she is going through. I was inviting her to tell us how bad he is and that we could assure her why and how she could leave. In these situations you feel so isolated and that nobody has been through or could possibly understand, I was trying to open up the dialogue with her.