I'm 20 years old (going on 21 this year), and I'm a first time mum to 19 month old.
When I first found out I was pregnant, my then partner wanted to move from Victoria to Queensland. His family was moving states and I guess he didn't want to be away from them. My family still reside in Victoria. Being pregnant at the time, I was emotional and everything else in between, and "no" wasn't an option. So we moved.
Fast track to when my daughter was born and is 4 months old. I started working because I got sick of living with his parents and he showed no interest in getting a job. So I did instead. We moved out, rented our own place. Now fast forward to a year later. He finally admits the relationship is dead (I knew it myself months before, he just refused to acknowledge it). I get my own place, we agree to a 50/50 custody arrangement for our child. And then I get fired. No warning or anything.
And to top it all off? My period is late. A werk goes by and I give in and do a home test. Positive.
Now I don't know what to do. I'm struggling to make ends meat while I'm still unemployed. I can't afford this kid. It'll mean I can't get a job, and I'll continue to struggle. The father is my ex. I spoke to him. He is no support whatsoever. I've looked into abortion. And I'm scared. I don't want this baby. But the abortion is around $500 through private. No one knows about this. I've no one I can talk to about any of it. My other thought was adoption. Because I feel if I go through this I would come to hate it. The father said no he'd take full custody then. I lost my shit. I guess I looked at it as if I gave it up then that's it, I'd want no reminder of it whatsoever. Like I said, he really isn't much help or support. I decided I won't discuss any of it with him.
So now here I am, writing anonymously, giving the run down of what's happened for me. And I'm lost. I'm alone. And I'm scared.
Please help. I don't know what to do.
What do I do? Pregnant & scared.
What do I do? Pregnant & scared.
Posted in:
Self Care, Health & Wellbeing, Pregnancy
6 Replies
Can you get and advance on your Centrelink payments?? You can apply online
Have you got some family you can call even if you havent spoken to them in a long time.
Good idea not to talk it out with him. Find your own support for your own best interests.
You wont hate the baby because you cant afford life. You might hate life and dislike your situation but it wont make giving away a baby you have carried and birthed any less emotional.
There are womens centres in most towns, google one and go in for a chat. Or a community health Centre, go and chat to a nurse. Or make an appointment with a female gp.
If you need $500 look at centrelink you can get an advance payment.
Alternatively if cost of living is an important factor, look at your cost of living, can you get a cheaper rental? Maybe further out of town or a different area. I could always afford single parenting, but its hard when rents too high or debts are high, i feel you should be able to find a way to overcome that if you decide you want to.
Definitely find someone in person for you to really talk it out with.
Look up the relationships and family planning in Qld I think it's called True. They may need able to assist you even with just some advice on where you can and some more options or support :)
I am so sorry you are in this position that you feel lost and alone.
Go to a GP, im sure there is a bulk billing way or some way to have an abortion without having it cost that kind of money. It does sound like it might be the right option for your current situation. Go speak to a GP or calls a women's clinic, they'll lead you in the right direction.
Have a termination. I've had one and don't regret it for a second. Sounds like you might not either. Good luck
Contact the Tabbot Foundation, they need to be more promoted and known about. They provide medical abortion (pills) through the post for $250. It's all properly legal and will fax a U/S and blood test referal (necessary to determine gestation) and put you in contact over the phone with the proscribing doctor and counselling if needed.