Hi mums, especially those who have raised girls past the teen stage.
My daughter is pre teen but hit the "interested in boys" stage. I feel it's too early but I've tried to approach this with open coversations, and so far she tells me everything that's going on eg: likes a boy, he gave her a small gift etc.. I have chatted about having friends and special friends are great but at her age not labelling it "bf & gf", encouraged her to enjoy childhood, plenty of time for boys later etc.
Her father and I seperated when she was small but we maintained a good relationship and she is very loved and gets plenty of attention and stability. She plays sports, has a good group of friends.
Now the issue is I was a teen mum and the level in which her boy interest is peaking so quickly scares me! She is going down the same road I did and I want to stop it and help her focus on school not just socialising .
This boy has kissed her cheek at school and she writes notes about him constabtly - all sounds very cute I know but how can I slow it all down/stop it ?
I know how sneaky and deceitful girls can be and if I ban her or put a full stop to it all she will most likely just go behind my back. Please any helpful advice is appreciated and try not to attack me- Im aware as her mother I should just say no more and that's it. But I want to approach this carefully to keep the communication open. She is a wonderful little girl and I just want to raise her the best I can. ️Thankyou
2 Replies
No, as her mother you shouldn't say no more! I think she will just hide it and then you'll have no idea what is going on.
This could just be boy specific. I was only ever interested in one boy and once high school came and we went to separate schools I really lost all interest in boys for a few years.
Just teach her about healthy relationships, make sure she keeps a balance in her life (which sounds like with sport and friends etc she does), monitor and limit mobile phone use (if she has one) and monitor social media.
Well I kissed boys in primary school and was boy CRAZY haha.forever writing notes about boys and writing "I love such and such" on the back of my ruler lol. I didn't lose my virginity until I was 20 years old. It doesn't mean she's going down your same path, it's completely normal. Just act super duper interested so she feels she can tell you everything. Then if it gets to be more you will know. Borrow a family members baby for a night and that will make sure she doesn't go near any doodle.