My ex has breached a varied dvo that was only done yesterday. Text message saying he doesn't believe anything I say and now he can use my text in court and bring my sisters into court. Because he asked for a late visit of 5:30 tomorrow I said it was late our daughters been going to bed earlier and if it was that late we would need to make the visit shorter. As she's still need a bath when we got home so would do a 45 min an hour max. She's 3.5 and we would get home about 6:45 if we left at 6:30 from the visit. Lately as she's been tired and she's got a cough and seems like she has a cold. She's been going to bed between 6 and 6:30 as she is tired sooky and just unhappy. Even falling asleep on my lap. No current court order in place.
So he sent me that text which breaches the no contact except for daughter to organise visits. Than he's been sending my mum text messages. Ones a picture messaging saying so dad tell me what it was like going through court. Don't worry sweetie your home now. Than after the photo wrote this is what it's going to be like for me and what happens in between is not known.
Than he proceed to send messages to my mum trying to say I said i was molestes when I was young I never said that and I never was. And that he's worries I've introduced my daughter to them and that he's worried and will address that in court ASAP. Than he proceeded to message and threaten my parents they will star in the court process and that the court and other departments will be interested and he has it on paper whatever he reckons that is. My parents foster. Yes I disagree with them but my parents are wonderful. Yes my dad and I butt heads and disagree and argue from time to time but there isn't violence we may yell or raise our voice but that's it. I seriously am over it. He's accused me of forging his signature on loan docs which j know I never ever did and actually requested the signed contracts I work at the bank. I'm so over it all. The threats the intimidation. When will this end? The order was only varied yesterday.
I have posted a few times. I just don't know what I'm meant to do.
Yes I've Said some things I'm not proud of in the head of the moment but honestly it's not abusive or anything it's just feelings of how angry I am but I haven't done that for a long time 6-12 months at least.
How can he still think his threats and stuff are ok?
How can he still think his threats and stuff are ok?
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Mental Health
8 Replies
Thats a really long message defwnding yourself and worrying over things you dont need to. Dont explain or justify to him. He cant be nice, then you cant have contact with him. His loss. Plan his visits ahead. Say no. No excuse needed. Let him know clearly you only text this number to arrange a meeting, with one weeks notice. If you use it to disrespect me one more time, it will go through supervised visits.
Then follow through.
Its not good for you to keep going through this each time.
Visits are already supervised at McDonald's. I'm Not comfortable sending her there unsupervised for so many reasons I've written theses reasons here many times. It's for her own safety and nothing to do with my wants. I'm thinking of her but Also making sure she still gets to see him. This shit is constant. Like all the time. And now my poor mother is getting the brunt of it becuase the dvo was amended yesterday yet he still messages me about nothing to do with our daughter.
I'm just so over the constant head games from him. Like seriously what does he think he's going to achieve doing this? I'm so sick to death of it all.
Hes influencing you. It sounds like hes completely wearing you down. Your mum should block him or change her number. And seriously if he does one more message to you, so should you.
Put your sim in a cheap phone and check it once a week. Reply about your child only then turn it off again.
If he continues, set visits at the same time and place so no message is needed at all.
Or go through a third Party so hes completely cut off from contacting you.
Yep, he's a dick!
Get yourself a cheap prepaid mobile phone that will have your current number. Turn it off put it in the drawer and only check it once a day. Only respond to the texts where he speaks politely about your child.
Get a new number for your current mobile and only give that number to trusted people. That way you won't be bothered by unending stupid texts. It will make you feel much less bombarded!
There is no reason for him to have contact with your parents. So they should block him on there phones and social media.
The stuff he is saying about court is just ridiculous! Family court is nothing like criminal court. There are no star witnesses. So you can just laugh at what a dick he is about all that.
If he has breached the order then let the police know asap, otherwise he will think he can keep getting away with this. It probably wont be the last time he breaches it so make sure you report everytime. It will look very bad for him in court.
There is an unresolved house with my family guarantor and mum only askes him about that. But he's started messaging other shit.
It's beyond a joke. He thinks I will do what he wants but I'm passed that. I'm passed the threats the drama. I'm not getting into it anymore. I'm done. My daughter is my focus and she is what matters. Nothing else at all matters other than her. I've never stopped a relationship after we left due to the DV.
Can I get in trouble for not responding? Can I get a prepaid one and block his number from my current phone and advise him of the new number? He messages sometimes to speak with our daughter. Always voice recorded. Can I get in trouble if he has the number that's switched off and he messaged and I don't check it in time? I'm all for him phoning but everyday is a bit crazy. She doesn't ask to speak with him or anything and she doesn't even really speak on the phone. I'm trying my best but I'm getting so stressed and warn down from it all.
No not at all. He doesnt have right to phone you. He can lose it altogether, lots of parents go through a third party.
Schedule the times he calls and the visits and turn your phone on for them. He has no rights to you and your time its your choice.
No you don't have to respond. Set a time for him to see his child that's the same every week, stick to it, so you only need to send a quick text reminder.
Ring him once or twice a week so he can speak to her. Beyond that you really don't need to do anything!
It's a good idea to speak to a women's legal service/lawyer to set your mind at ease.