Hi mums and dads
Just after some advice.
I met a lovely lady the other week at my sons swimming. At first we did the polite smile, then the hello, then she introduced herself and we had a tiny chat before she left.
Now. Here is my little dilemma.
Her son, has the violent type of autism. (So the swimming instructor said)
(Please don't scold me for the way I'm writing this, I'm really bad with words, and I don't mean to offend)
He is SO sweet, it's like he didn't even know he was hurting his mum. He's 3 (my son is 2)
We had a little chat, and he told me his name, how old he is, how much he likes swimming, all the while he was biting, pinching and pulling his mums hair! Like he didn't even know. Meanwhile the poor woman is wincing at what he's doing to her. (I know he can't help it)
Now. What I want to know is.
Is there anything I can say or do to stop him doing it for 5 mins so I can chat to his mum.
I was thinking about just going to a cheap shop and buying a few cars/balls to keep him distracted for a minute or two (of course I'd check with his mum first)
THEN.. What do I say in the instance she offers a play date.. Which I'm keen for but worried he'll hurt little man. But in the same sense don't want to the poor darling to be isolated over something he can't control.
Peace x
13 Replies
Why don't you arm yourself with some chewable toys in your bag, pretend theyre your kids, then offer mum youll take the child for 10 minutes while she has a timeout, swims some laps, sits in the sun, has a shower.
Firstly as an autism mum, thank you for writing this. I've also worked with a lot of asd kids too.
Firstly it could be situational. Some of our kiddos are fine in certain environments and others are more difficult. For example waiting to get in the pool or getting changed or waiting while you chat may be an issue for this child. But running around at the park may not be.
so my advice judy chat to mum, ask mum. You sound like a lovely person and I'm sure you will find a way to bring it up.
So although I'd love to give you some suggestions it is so dependent on the specific child.
Can't like this enough. You are amazing! If only every mum thought like this. 2 ASD boys one is more severe than the other. Friends are hard to find and even harder to keep.
Thank you for this. Admittedly I don't know a lot about it, best thing to do is ask right? ?
Yes, be honest. I don't mind when people admit they don't know. I'd prefer that to making assumptions.
First, there isn't a "violent type" of autism, he sounds like he's sensory seeking, and your suggestions are well thought out and may help, but I can almost guarantee mum would have tried them too, maybe they'd work better for you though
And chances are this mum will never instigate a play date, that will be up to you if you wish.
Just because the boy was biting etc his mum, doesn't mean it will happen to your child, he might stick to his mum like glue as she is safe
Talk to her more, learn more and see what happens
Mum to 5 autistic kids xx
I do apologise for the way I worded it. My nephew has a mild form and his mum (who is bitter to start with) said 'don't worry he's not the violent type'
And all I wanted to do was make sure my son didn't get in his way and make nephew uncomfortable in his own home.
Thank you for this though x
I do apologise for the way I worded it. My nephew has a mild form and his mum (who is bitter to start with) said 'don't worry he's not the violent type'
And all I wanted to do was make sure my son didn't get in his way and make nephew uncomfortable in his own home.
Thank you for this though x
What a beautiful lady yOu are! My son has a syndrome that causes autistic tendencies and can I just say, you would probably make this mum so happy if you invite her son to a play date! Us mums with kiddies who have extra needs just want them to be included and for people to treat them as they would any other child! I agree also that my so is a massive sensory seeker, he will chew anything and does bit me and my husband from time to time, however he has never hurt another child at day care. But I'm sure mum would monitor him closely anyway as I can guarantee the last thing she would want is for him to accidentally hurt your child.
You can get sensory chew toys, my son loves them (he likes the ones on the necklace not the hand held ones because as soon as he drops them they're Gone- laziness at its best lol but he also enjoys chewing the string as much as the tag which could be similar to hair for this boy.) But all kids are individual and this little boy may be seeking something else. Just speak to mum. Personally, if someone were to speak to me about my son it would not offend me at all, I would actually be greatful that they care enough to want to know the finer details and what may help!
Kudos to you for being so Kind and caring and for setting the example to your child that kids who are different are still awesome to play with and should be included! We need more of that in our world! ????
Thank you for that!
I appreciate your suggestions.
Unfortunately this mum wasn't at swimming today, I'm hoping she hasn't dropped out.
I hate to think he's being left out, I imagine it would be quite lonely being a mum with a child who needs a little extra attention.
Hopefully see her next week and will research some thing to get. Xx
Thank you for that!
I appreciate your suggestions.
Unfortunately this mum wasn't at swimming today, I'm hoping she hasn't dropped out.
I hate to think he's being left out, I imagine it would be quite lonely being a mum with a child who needs a little extra attention.
Hopefully see her next week and will research some thing to get. Xx
Thank you for that!
I appreciate your suggestions.
Unfortunately this mum wasn't at swimming today, I'm hoping she hasn't dropped out.
I hate to think he's being left out, I imagine it would be quite lonely being a mum with a child who needs a little extra attention.
Hopefully see her next week and will research some thing to get. Xx
Hope the mum is back at swimming again... definitely ask her, as she knows her son best. I am sure she will appreciate it. I am sure she will love having a new friend as well. Good luck