This is a question to the step mums.
How do you deal with the defamation towards you and your SO from their ex?
I'm finding it extremely hard to hear what this woman is telling her daughter's about their father, coaching miss 4 to repeat horrible things over and over, informing miss 8 that we are incapable of looking after them and that is her job to do so (how could you put that on an 8yr old??)
The ex is also telling the children that I'm a disgusting woman because i want married when i had my daughter (she doesn't know the circumstances behind my pregnancy), saying I'm horrible and violent, that i yell and scream all the time (i don't, i wouldn't do that to any child), she's advising their father of all horrible things and it's just disgusting and distressing for all concerned.
So how do you deal with it?? Because I'm struggling and it's really affecting my anxiety.. just need strategies
3 Replies
You don't.
Don't retaliate.
Don't respond to her.
Don't defend yourself.
Just stand back and let her go.
Why?
Because if you respond in any way you're adding fuel to the fire. People like her LOVE drama. If you ignore her she will eventually stop. It will take a while. I wish I had done this from the start.
Kids aren't stupid and they will figure it out.
She is just jealous and bitter. You just need to ignore her behaviour and concentrate on the kids. It's not easy but you can't retaliate. The kids will soon realise what she is like and it will backfire on her.
Sending hugs as I know exactly how you are feeling, my husbands ex is a nightmare. She's gone as far as making false reports to police and dhs and believe me it took everything we had to not respond but karma soon appeared and she has been warned that next time she will be charged by the police for false reporting and the children will be taken away from her due to emotional trauma. The courts even granted us 50/50 care due to her behaviour.
Sadly legally there is little you can do except ignoring it. If you are really unlucky the nutter will keep going and not lose interest. Hoping she looks a fool and realises it is stupid to keep doing it