When parents seperate i know 50/50 (week on week off) is the ideal split ratio.
But what is this doesn't work?
Few details.
Mum is primary carer. Dad works away a few months of the year. Child starts kindy next year and school the year after.
What are other ratios that may work?
4 Replies
Any ratio you like! It could even be more flexible. So care for mum increases when dad goes away etc.
There is no set ratios or perfect ratio. Also take into account school kindy drop off and pick ups and distance for travel. Id be aiming for a bare minimum of one weekend a fortnight for whoever has the lower care percentage. Obviously thar would change while dad is away.
50/50 is only ideal when parents live close together and can communicate really well together/get along, so in reality is often far from ideal for most families, there's only a select few who can really make it work well for the kids, in many cases it's for the parents benefit only
My ex was pushing for 50/50 and I decided if it was ever awarded to him, I'd step back and let him have majority care in that case, 50/50 would not have been ideal at all for our kids.
It all depends on the kids (are they flexible/easy going or need more reassurance/structure), the parents (can they communicate, are they on the same page with routines/discipline/values etc or arguing, different house different rules, availability -both free to be there, or one working away)
School, does one parent live hours away from school, where one is 5 minutes away
Are both parents willing to contribute equally (my ex was financially abusive, he didn't want to help me out at all, I was granted a child support exemption he was that bad about it, which means any judge would automatically throw 50/50 off the table anyway)
The age of the child/ren, younger kids do better with one primary carer, short frequent visits with the other, older kids do better with 50/50, but the older they get the more say they get, if they want it or not
It can work beautifully for some, but don't just assume it's the ideal situation
You can make anything work. If hes away youll need a good support network maybe daycare.
As long as they have a good bond and are with one of you itll be ok.
My ex is in the police. We always agreed on 50/50 but slowly working up to it as he was away with work for a year after we split. We got as far as 4 nights with dad, 10 with me before dad realised with his shift work 50/50 was not a realistic option.
So we've stayed as 4 nights:10 nights; but if dad asks for an extra night here and there unless I've made plans for something that can't be changed usually it works, same as if I have something on during my children time, dad will have extra time.