I have two beautiful boys from my marriage, still quite young and under the age of four. The relationship with my (soon to be ex) husband was manipulative, abusive and toxic- I cried when I discovered I was pregnant a second time as I had been planning to leave him and felt trapped. We tried counselling (as a couple and as individuals) but his response was always "there's nothing wrong with us except you".
So I eventually got the courage to end it, bought my own house and have been dating my best friend.
To everyone outside our relationship it will look like we are moving incredibly fast- but it's all so comfortable and easy and he loves and respects me (and vice versa). We treat each other as equals and now we have found out we are pregnant.
Our first reaction was that this is poor timing- I'm not even divorced yet- but we are so incredibly happy, financially stable and mature about this.
How do I explain to people that this is not just honeymoon period?
How do I tell my two boys about a sibling? How do I tell my ex?
How do I overcome the stigma attached to a woman who has multiple children to more than one daddy in a short span of time?
This is a place where women from different backgrounds, cultures and beliefs come together to support one another judgement free.
3 Replies
Congratulations!! Just be happy and let everyone know how happy you both are and shame on them if they judge you. Your boys will be so excited, they won't have any instinct to be anything but excited or jealous haha. Don't let anyone including your soon to be ex husband ruin that for them.
Good luck :)
You don't need to tell your x. That's why he is an x. As for explaining it to people DON'T. If they can't be happy and support you fuck them. I met my now husband 2 years ago. Within 3 months we were married and a baby on the way. 2 years later I still love him just the same. People will judge no matter what. If you're happy and your children are happy then there is nothing else left to explain. Stay strong mum.
I agree with this though the practicality of maintaining an amicable relationship with the father of your children can add complexity.
I would consider telling him. If he got another woman pregnant and was in a serious relationship that affects your children, how would you want to know about it?