Hi ladies,
I had my baby a few months ago now, went into spontaneous labour but had meconium when my waters broke so they gave me pitocin to speed it up. It did not speed it up though it was the most horrible pain I could even imagine for hours and hours and hours before I caved and got an epidural. Before the pitocin I felt like the pains were manageable but being induced like that killed me!
After another 8 hours with the epidural they told me I wasn't progressing and I had to have an emergency caesarean. At the time I was just rrelieved to have my baby out and meet her! But as time goes on I'm feeling more anf more disappointed that I didn't get to do it naturally. I feel cheated and like I should hsve turned down the pitocin in the first place or tried for longer before csection because she was fine the whole time. I could have said no and pushed through it!
Has anyone else experienced something similar? I don't want to remember the birth of my child with sadness.
7 Replies
My first labour went for 21hrs and at the end i had to have an emergency csection. At the end of the day you do whats best for you and the baby. Drs will let you go on for a certain amount of time before suggesting csections. And hosnestly to have gone on with your labour could have stressed the baby or your self and risked either or both your lives. Its not the end of the world having a csection and with the support of a good dr your next child could be born via VBAC. Your not a failure and you have not been cheated out of a birth. Your a mum that has had tramatic birth.
My first birth ended in my son going into distress, he had the cord wrapped around his neck twice.
Children get born in lots of different ways. What matters is they are alive at the end of it. I'm great ful for the treatment I received that got my son here, 60 years ago he would not have been born alive.
I had a natural birth, third degree tear and stitches in my anus for 6 months. I shudder when I think about it, my point is, natural births are not all roses and a speedy recovery like everyone leads you to believe. It took me many years to get over the trauma of it and there are many other women like you and I that remember that day as a nightmare, not the beautiful day you read in books. I promise as time goes by, you think about it less, but give yourself time to heal xxxx
You might need to speak to someone regarding your feelings. It sounds like they did everything they could to ensure bub and you were safe but that you got caught up in what they call a "cascade of intervention" which is where one intervention leads to another, then another, then another until you have a c-section. There is no shame in the birth you ended up with. Your baby is here with you, she is safe and healthy. The birth you had brought her to you.
My experience was similar (though it was found that my daughter was stuck tight in my pelvis and probably would never have come out naturally) and at the time I was just glad to get her out. I was disappointed at first but ultimately relieved that we had good care and that we were both safe and healthy. It wasn't until someone said to me "Oh, I'm sorry you ended up with a c-section!" that I realised I wasn't sad at all. It brought me my daughter. How she got here doesn't matter to me.
Please, though, don't think that I'm judging you for being sad about it though. What I'm trying to say is seek some advice to debrief on the experience. I had the OB who performed the surgery come and see me and explain what happened at every point in the birth so I was better able to understand why it happened. It helped immensely.
I want to like this post so much but it won't let me - another emergency c section mum
Talk to someone about it. But with time it does get better.
My waters broke and nothing happened so was induced (yes labour pains are more intense with induction). I had a horrible midwife who didn't like me moving around with the monitor on, didn't want to see how far dilated I was when I felt the feeling to push (so glad someone took over not long after). Baby got stuck, went for a forceps delivery but ended up too swollen and the safest way was a Caesarian. Bub was born blue and had to be worked on for a little bit.
5 years later I still wonder if I had a different midwife to start with would my story be different?
But I also look at my child and it doesn't get to me how they were born, as they were born the way that was safest for them and they are with me.
Word for word this is what happened to me 3 yrs ago. It took maybe 2 years to stop feeling cheated and angry at my useless dr. I've since had bub #2 and tried for vbac. I was in pre labour for 2 days and another 24hrs of proper contractions all i got to was 5 cm so off for an emergency cs...I will never do that again, labour is horrible, and I didn't ever reach what they would call active labour.
All the people who say your body knows what to do clearly don't have my body, it's clueless and I'm now perfectly ok with that :)
Give it time and you'll realise it doesn't matter in the end x