Hi ladies, currently pregnant with my second child and wanted a little girl so very badly but just found out at my scan its another boy. Cant help but feel a little dissapointed and upset. I know i should be grateful but im feeling the opposite. How do i get through this. Also my 3 yr old loves to be so aggressive and fight so im worried about how he will handle being a big brother.
11 Replies
I have 2 girls and they get along so well. I was a part of a so called "perfect" pigeon pair growing up and I brother and I fought all the time. That's all my childhood memories are full of, fighting and arguing. I'd rather have 2 kids of the same gender who get along well compared to a boy and a girl who fight all the time. Not saying that will definitely be the case for you but I wouldn't be too focused on gender. Having a boy and a girl is no guarantee your life will be better than if you have 2 of the same gender.
You poor bugga. Its a REAL struggle that alot of women face and dont talk about it. Wanting a certain gender is a real thing and you are allowed to feel how you feel. I dont have any advice just keep going you will heal on your own in your own time. X
A friend of mine felt the same way when she was pregnant with her second and final child. Originally gutted it was a boy, she wouldn't have it any other way now.
2 boys is the best! I feel like 2 of the same gender is wayyyy better than one of each. More likely to be best friends. Especially boys. They can be rough together and I guarantee you'll love being the only woman of the house in a few years time. You queen!
Google gender disappointment, the struggle is real, you are not alone and many before you have felt this way. I hope it all works out for you.
I am in the same position! Expecting my 2nd boy in a couple of months and can't help but feel disappointed. I feel guilty for feeling this way but can't hide the feeling that I've always wanted a girl. We're thinking of trying again for a girl but worry how I'll be if we end up with a 3rd boy! Sorry not really any advice except know that you're not alone!
Dont worry i just had my second girl and i was initially dissapointed throughout my pregnancy but when she was born i had so much love for her and i am so happy that my 2 girls are the best of friends. I am just hoping when i have my third that its a boy. Of course a happy healthy baby is important and i couldnt imagine the pain others go through with miscarriage. But gender dissapointment is a loss and its normal to have those feelings. If u decide to have a third in the future there is lots of info on gender swaying that you can try.
Hey love. Im a mum of three boys and no little girls. I was disappointed when we found out at 20 weeks #3 was a little boy too, as he was to be our last baby. And i guess i still think about wanting a daughter one day but big chance it wont happen. Its ok to acknowledge the feelings and dont feel ashamed about them. It doesnt mean you will love your little boys less. I sure love my three boys. They are each very special to me. Just know your not alone xx
Gender disappointment is real. And it is a process. When I found out I was expecting a boy second time around, i was shocked to say the least. I didn't want boys. I envisioned myself with girls. That was my ideal scenario. I already had a beautiful daughter and wanted to give her a sister but it wasn't mean't to be. I cried over the months but by the end of the pregnancy I was happy and adjusted to the idea of having a little man about the house and what a little man he is! It just takes time. You have acknowledged it and now you work through it. Today that little boy is 18 months old and we have an amazing bond and have done so from day dot. He is Mum's little man and he makes my heart sing. Give it time xx
Oh lovely! Don't feel guilty! I remember feeling exactly the same way. I was so sure for the first 20 weeks of my secondary pregnancy I was having a girl, that I'd even knicknamed the bump Ruby. I nearly cried when I found out I was having another boy. By the time it got to b-day, I had adjusted and when he arrived I was just as in love with him as the first. I knew he would be my last, as I was 42 at the time, so it was bittersweet. I would not change anything now, he's 7 and the light of my life. BIG HUGS xxx PS... Can't advise on the whole 3 yr old being aggressive part as there's 18 years between my miracle boys. All I can say is make sure your little fella knows he's just as much loved as he was before baby arrived and let him be a helper, if wants, with baby with your supervision of course. Again BIG HUGS xxx
Hi there,
I felt this way after two boys. I had extreme gender disappointment and I couldn't let it go.
My world was so dark I went from super happy to just misery everyday.
I ended up doing gender selection in the US to get my girl. It worked first try. ( I was 32 at the time)
I don't love her any more then my boys which is what I read people commenting when ever this topic comes up but I do feel complete now.