The '3rd' baby scenario!
I'm a 27 year old happily married mum to 2 perfect boys... 5 & 7!! I've hit a massive rut and can not, I mean can not stop thinking about the possibility of expanding our family. A 3rd child was never in our plan.
Background - Our eldest son is in year one and next year our baby will be off to Prep, both boys in school which means we can 'get back on track' so to speak. We've recently started a new business venture, the boys go to a wonderful private school and we like to holiday overseas every couple of years... Will this have to stop if we bring another child into the world? I'm not sure. We live a nice life, and are finally getting things in motion to get our future on track.
BUT the thought of another baby overwhelms me completely! I look at random babies and my ovaries explode. The thought of being pregnant and breastfeeding again excites me!
Are my boys too old to introduce a brother or sister?
How much will life change for us?
I came from a family of 5 and hated being the middle child and fear for that being the case of my boy!
Life's content for us, but I fear that I will regret it if we don't. A lady once told me "You don't regret the children you have, only the ones you didn't have!" That's never left me!!
My husband wants me to get a dog ? And I know our boys would be amazing big brothers... Is it that easy?
Help... Please!!!! x
7 Replies
A couple of things come to mind
1. No child is too old for a sibling
2. Wether you are the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 100th or only child there is something negative about being that child!
3. Some people do regret the children they have. Go meet the children raised in foster carers, dumped with grandparents or who are raised by one parent but with a dead beat mum or dad. So I really really hate that saying.
4. The only people who can make the decision are you and your husband but if one person is dead against the idea then case is closed, because raising a child you didn't want is the hardest thing anyone can do.
5. Wether you decide to have a baby or not, you will have a good life, be happy etc. it will only consume you if you choose that.
"You don't regret the children you have, only the ones you didn't have!" - umm no. Not true. LOTS of people regret their children, you just never hear about it because it's taboo to talk about.
My two kids are over 5 years apart and it is hard...it was hard taking a newborn on school runs and to the school and extra curricular events. It was also hard taking them places they could both enjoy as everywhere was either too babyish for my oldest or too grown up for my youngest. But my girls are amazing I wouldn't change a thing.
It sounds like hubby isn't really into the idea of a 3rd and that's fine, it's his family too. If he comes around and you want another, go for it! But if you feel your life is content and good the way it is that's ok too.
Good luck with your decision ^_^
Just going to say that for me, no way in hell would I choose to go back to the newborn stage once my boys were in school- I couldn't think of anything worse!
If hubby comes around then go for it if it's what you both want. But do remember that you forget how easy the kids become as they age until you're thrust back into the newborn stage! I have a 4mth old and a 2yr old with special needs and I even didn't realise how easy my 2yr old had become until the youngest was born. I literally puts you back at square one all over again.
In saying that, yes some things may go on the back burner for a while but it won't be forever. I guess there will negatives and positives to any situation so you just need to do what's best for your family.
I'm 8 weeks pregnant with my third. I have two others, a boy 7 almost 8 and a daughter who just turned 6. So both are in school.
My husband and I always wanted more kids but for the past few years I've been happy with just the two. I think now they're both at school I'm happy with the thought of having a baby again. My daughter is over the moon excited and is already planning on helping as much as she came when bubba comes next year. My son is excited but not as much as my daughter, he just wishes for a baby boy. :)
It's really a decision you and your husband have to make as for the rest everything will work out one way or another.
I have three two boys and then a girl. Mine are 6,4.5 & nearly 3.
Children are never too old for a sibling I'm 36 but I'd be pretty happy if I learned I was getting another sibling?
The rest only you can answer. Re your finances etc. We were able to have a 3rd and still holiday overseas and have nice things but I desperately wanted to have a 3rd and would have done it even if our only holidays were up the coast every few years.
It is of course more work and as they grow and need to be driven around to various activities you will have less time to your self.
I ultimately did it cause I had an unshakeable urge to have a third like someone was missing and I had to bring them here.
I feel like more sibling are always better for the children you currently have but you need to decide if you will be ok with the sacrifices you need to make.
Also I read in the comments here someone say it's hard taking a newborn to older child's extra curricular stuff.
I take my two year old to my six year olds piano class and I would definitely have found it easier to bring her when she was a newborn. I guess it depends what your babies are like mine were all very quiet.
I had 3 children to my first husband and tried to talk myself into being happy I always wanted more, he had a vasectomy just to make sure we didn't change our minds. I regretted it ever day. That amongst other a few other thing we ended up divorcing and I ended up having 2 more children and now I feel complete. Your body tells you when you have had enough. There is an inner peace.