I'm a first time mum, single mum since the day I found out I was pregnant and I seem to be taking it hard that my son has picked up the word dad and he has no one to call it, as he's dad decided he didn't want to be a dad again (first child to a different person)
Anyone else going through this and finding Father's Day a bit of a struggle? I get I'm his mummy and he's daddy but the fact he says dad dad a lot more than he says anything else breaks my heart ? I'm probably just being a lala but yeah anyone else feel this?
Single mum
Single mum
Posted in:
Parenthood Guilt
10 Replies
The reason that we are called mum and dad is because developmentally 'mum' and 'dad' are easy sounds babies say even without any meaning. Don't read so much into it. They are just noises babies and children make.
My son used to buy me a Father's Day present.
I know it's just a word, just sucks he doesn't get the same responses he gets from all the other words he says
I'm with you, similar circumstances. I now say "mum" every time he says dad and I point to myself. My son is 2 and it breaks my heart I'll have to have the conversation of "sorry buddy but your daddy didn't love mummy anymore, he loved someone else and decided it to see mummy or you. But that's now our fault, we live each other very much,and we don't need people who don't love us in our lives"
I do that too, he's since learnt other words but with dad being an easy word he says it.. He's never known he's dad, they've never met.. He hasn't had a photo since he was 2 days old
But yeah I just sometimes wish I had someone to text or call and say hey $&@&) was calling for you today but yeah..
I am glad I'm not the only one that feels this way
Im the above poster, I totally get it. I really do. The single mum gig is hard. We're looking for someone to share in our proudest moments and we just don't have that. I take comfort in the fact I get to have them, and get to cherish them with just me. I only have a handful of photos of just me and Bub because there's never anyone to catch these moments on camera for us. I get professional photos done often with the both of us because I think it's important.
I share those precious moments with my parents. If my boy did something special I tell them about it. They are much more receptive and excited than a deadbeat dad!
I do that as well..
My parents live around the corner so it really helps.. I just don't have a close relationship with my parents only since having my son, I think being single for close to 5 years doesn't help my situation
I keep being told I'm not allowed to feel lonely because I have my son
I completely understand all of that, I'm the same.. I pay an arm and a leg just for photos of us but at the end of the day the money means shit to me because the photos mean so much more
I love I don't have the confusion most single mums get, my son doesn't miss him isn't acting up, but yes I do want someone to share the good times with, I have been sorta seeing someone but he's too damaged it won't go anywhere.. But I also don't want anyone else so yeah..
Take selfies holding him :)
My son went through that stage and I am thankful that I have a close relationship with my parents. My son calls my dad "dada" even though everybody calls him grandad. He is now 5 and although he knows who his dad is, they don't have much of a relationship. It is hard, I'm not going to lie. I wish I had someone (who aren't my parents) that I can share the funny and wonderful moments with but it gets easier as time goes on. I have no intentions of being in a relationship either so I had to get over the whole sharing those moments phase. We are happy, my son is happy and he does every so often make remarks about his dad not being like his friends dads and I just reiterate to him that I love him and will always be there for him no matter what. I don't say dad, I don't mention dad and when he says stuff about dads I just turn it back to mum, mum will do that with you, mum can help you, mum will be there, how about mummy try that with you. And if that fails I always ask my dad to step in and he happily does. Big hugs to you mum. It'll get easier but just remember whenever your little one mentions dad, just flow with it but replace dad with mum.