Has any one else felt like this or is it just me. I'm a single mum of an 8.5 month old. Been on my own since day one sue to DV. I'm struggling mentally physically financially. I don't get any child support I haven't ask for any. I'm just exhausted!! She's been sick for 2 weeks just got her on antibiotics. I'm done. I really and I get 0 time to my self. She keeps me up all night I don't sleep any way cause of night mares. Yes I'm seeing a someone. She isn't in child care cause of a complicated court case at the moment. She's always crying demanding my attention biting me. I'm so over it. I want to be a good mum but I can't be because I'm so frustrated so angry I hate my self and I think I'm starting to hate her. And I hate even saying that I don't deserve her. Her dad denies her had a new partner and is out having fun. I'm jealous I'm angry I should of just stayed with him! But he tried to kill my baby that's why I left. But now I just want him to man up and take her for a weekend but he won't and I can't bare to have him with her. I'm torn. Most days I want to just pack my bags and leave her behind. She's crying right now and I'm to exhausted to go to her. See I'm terrible. I don't know what I'm asking mybe just venting.
I thought about adopting her out when I was pregnant and I wish to all gods I did
Because I can't be a good mum for her she deserves someone better than me. I can't keep up with her. I just want time to my self for this constant headache to go. I have a new boy friend and I think his about to leave me because I can't even get out of the house and have time with him. Is this as good as life is going to get? Because if it is I think I'll end it right now. I try to talk to friends etc but they just don't get how I am really feeling cause they don't have any kids.
I didn't even have time to enjoy her as a new born cause I was in and out of court even when I was pregnant I hated my pregnancy. I've missed so much critical time that I will never get back its many to be special and I missed it.
I'm such an angry negative person now
Please tell me it gets better?!!
at an all time low dont want to be a mum
at an all time low dont want to be a mum
Posted in:
Mental Health, Self Care, Parenthood Guilt
10 Replies
Hun Hun Hun, fuck him! Your ex is a douche I'm sure you've written in multiple times about your situation. Your ex does not deserve your daughter. Yea it's hard mother good isn't easy. It's never easy. Your new boyfriend he's a dick to, if he trying to get you out of the house away from your baby then he isn't the right person for you. Any man that comes into your life from the day your daughter was born has to come into your life willing to be a step-dad. And yes those kinds of guys are out there. Yes they're real! I should know I have one of those guys. I have 3 kids to a man who I left because of emotional, physical and mental abuse. I have a man in my life I didn't find him straight away and certainly not when my youngest was under 1. She was almost 2, she didn't sleep the night through and she still doesn't. Please consider co-sleeping your daughter probably wants to be close to you. Find a way to do controlled crying. Put her into daycare you can get 13 weeks of free childcare with letters from your doctors, counsellors etc find a friend or relative who is willing to take her for a few hours so you can sleep and readjust your self. Not spend time with your new "boy"friend. Social live are hard with kids you do sound young very young and did you know adoption is still an option. It really is. She's your daughter but there are plenty of families out there looking for a baby even an 8.5 month old. You say you have a court case on going if it's with your ex for custody then he's not really denying her is he? You know asking for child support isn't the worst thing in the world? But in the end everything you are feeling is 100% natural I felt the same when I became single he was out having fun and starting a new life and I barely had time to scratch myself. Keep going! Look at all your options and find one that works for you and remember it can only get better, you've gotten rid of a dick, you've gained an innocent who loves you. Put your phone down and live in the real work men are supposed to compliment you not complicate you. And no one ever said life was ment to be easy. Also your baby can feel all your stress and will react to it. Which is why she's probably crying all the time because she can feel how upset you are.
It gets so very very much better!
I was left holding the baby from day one. That first 12 months is hard, even when you do have a supportive partner. So yeah it's the hard part. Each year gets so much easier.
It gets so very very much better.
Your little one will get easier, you'll start to feel mentally better.
You will start to see some really good things happen.
Its the hardest when theyre sick. As bad as it feels, it leaves just as quickly what you need is a few solid hours alone a decent sleep and to know when your next break is coming. You might be better off not worrying avout trying to fit a man in if he wants you alone and cant be supportive.
Call in your friends or get one day in daycare and get some time for youreelf first.
Kelly please add this to my post! Xx
I just have to clear it up about my new boy friend. He is amazing with my daughter. Its me that is thinking he is going to leave even when he says he isn't, and is happy. But I'm still waiting for him to cause I'm a mental reck. He is the only thing that keeps me calm at times he came around last night to help me with her.
Hun whereabouts do you live? So many people on the fb post have offered help, and if you're in Townsville i'd love to give you a break. You're not a bad Mum, you're just exhausted and at the end of your rope. We've all been there, and it does get better!! Hugs to you and your bub. Xoxo
Please please call or msg me. You can remain anon. If you wish. 0432539535 xx
Like a few others have said....where are you located? Babies are hard work especially when you are not getting enough sleep. Please tell us where you are so one of us can help ou
What city do you live in? Even on this site, there might be someone who lives close, that would be able to help you with a bit of time out or a listening ear.
Please please please let the site know where you are located. Or check out the fb page for comments. Soo many people offering to help you and let you get a few hours sleep. Always helps to have someone that you can sit down and have a chat with over a coffee or lunch. I'm in adelaide, and know what its like. All my family and friends live interstate and it gets very lonely. My little one is 9 months and tests me everyday at the moment. She's not normally like that, so I know it will get better. She'd love a little play mate if you are around Adelaide
Hi hun, I'm so sorry you are going through this. I can't give you much advice because i don't know how it is to be a single mum but I just wanted to say that you are an amazing mum for just being here in the world for your baby girl and for walking out on your ex. Please don't ever go back to him, nor let him near your baby since you know what he is capable of. I'm 26 and have a little boy in prep, I live in Cairns and am able to give you a hand with your girl and a listening ear anytime. I'm not working atm so have plenty of time ? If you ever need someone to talk to or need help and you live in the same area txt/call me 0410146885. Much love to you, hang in there hun. A storm doesn't last very long, the sun will soon come out shining xoxo