Ok this is a scary one for me...
So I have endometriosis and polycystic ovary syndrome and the last two years has been hell, I've been on multiple hormone therapies, which has effected my mood, weight and diet so bad. I put on 18kg. My self confidence is in ruins at the moment and I'm very uncomfortable with myself.
I've also undergone in the last two years 4 surgeries for endo removal and ruptured cysts/cysts. This has caused a lot of damage to my ovaries. Because of this a few doctors I have seen, have told me that if I want children and I want to have them naturally, I should start trying. My mum, sister and a few friends have also really made this a big deal, because I may very well not be able to have kids, if my condition keeps going like it is and I've been warned by my doctors that I may already find it difficult.
The thing is I had my last surgery around 3 months ago and they put the Marina in, this is the most I have felt OK in a long time, I'm going to the gym every day and dieting well and for once it's actually working, I've managed to get 5 kilos back off.
I have a amazing partner, were engaged and he is completely supportive, but he is more supportive of us trying to have kids now.
Am I being selfish and is it bad that I just can't bring myself to want to yet? I'm finally feeling ok about myself again, well piecing it back together and I do like kids but I feel like I'm missing something I don't have that ache for it yet, so much about pregnancy terrifies me. What if I try and I lose it? What if something goes wrong? I'm scared.
I don't know what I'm asking I goes all this talk about it from doctors and my fam has really weighed on me! Anyone got any advice or been through this?
Sorry it's a long one. But thanks heaps for taking the time to read it ladies!
2 Replies
I wrote in about a similar feeling earlier in the year.
The only difference is that my partner and I weren't using protection. We weren't ready for kids either but we were in the 'if it happens, it happens' frame of mind.
I had never been diagnosed with endo, but I knew. Very heavy long periods and crippling pain. Mid last year I found out I was Prego, it was ectopic and I ended up losing a tube. They told me I had endo at that point and had scar tissue on my other tube.
They pretty much said try now or it may never happen.
I wasn't ready for kids, but knew one day I would want them. It took over a year but we have fallen pregnant again. I am half way and have never felt better with myself, no more mood swings no more painful cramps (I know they will return one day though)
I still don't feel ready for my baby to arrive, but I know it could be my only chance so I'm thankful for that.
I have endometriosis & get terrible bleeding & sometimes excruciating ovulation pain, my left ovary is borderline polysistic, I have 2 kids & I luckily got pregnant with them first go each time, I know everybody's different but take the time & make sure you're ready. Give your body time to heal from the surgery. Both pregnancies seemed to rid the symptoms and pain but unfortunately within weeks of delivery returned. Good luck