What constitutes abuse? My hubby is an alcoholic who smokes a lot of weed as well and smokes. He is verbally abusive when he is drunk or suffering withdrawals from weed. My two little kids and I are currently overseas and are due to go back to Australia soon. I don't want to go back, but I am worried as we are overseas that we will be forced to go back due to the rule of not taking your kids out of the State when you leave your hubby (he gave permission for us to go for a month). I have no real evidence of him being verbally abusive that I know of. I didn't write anything down. I was trying to change the dates when we would go back, but it is too expensive and I cannot afford to. If we are gone more than 6 weeks, we lose our Centrelink payments and it is just coming up to that point now. He recently got fired and wouldn't have any money to pay for rent or anything once the payments cease. I don't know what to do. I am worried if I stay and he files kidnapping or something it will hurt me in the future for custody of my kids.
7 Replies
I should also add, or should I go home and sort it out there? Where I am now, I have friends to support me. There, I have no one
ok, firstly i am not in a situation like this nor have i ever been. Is it possible to go back to him, but instead of making it out that you want to leave him, say you want to go home. Back to where you have family? i dont know him or you or how understanding he would be about that. But you could try and work it out that way.sort out your finances and what you want to take with you (if anything) and go to centrelink and see what help they can offer, so you can save the money to go back (or family might help i dont know). I hope it all works out for x
You need to speak to a lawyer! We can't give you the right advice.
If the country you are in is a signatory to the Hague Convention, he can request an application be made to have the kids returned to Australia. The order can be made that they be returned regardless of whether or not you go with them, and it will look badly for you in any following proceedings. You really, really need legal advice on this. It is generally considered best for children's issues to be dealt with in the country that they usually reside in.
You don't lose. Centrelink if you tell them you're coning back date. They just don't pay for more than six. But if you out don't tell thembefore they will cancel it.
Would you feel secure knowibg you're on the run from him. He could show up and take them back any time. Would you run? Change schools? Have him steal them back and they're suddenly back in Australia without you? Is that the life for your kids? I guess they could never have contact with their dad ever. You couldn't bring them back to Australia for a holiday you'd be arrested for kidnapping on arrival.
If you can live in Australia & entitled to centre link, can support yourself & work out a separation I think do that. Then you can eventually work out spending time there or living there but all above board. I think that's most fair for the children.
I think you know that you should not stay there without his permission . He can get orders that state you are you return them to Australia and you can
Lose custody because of this . Running and hiding in another country is not the answer .
This may be far fetched but can you tell him your intentions before you return ? I.e. That you do not wish to return to the relationship ? Has he ever threatened to physically harm you ? Are you afraid that he will ? Do you think he would hurt the kids ? Denying your children
Access to a relationship with their father is also abusive .
I know you have friends where you are and that is a really big help but there are people in Australia that can help you and it's probably a good time to get out and meet some new friends ! Link in with your community !
What ever you decide I wish you luck and hope it turns out well for you .