Hi girls,
I really need some advice. I left a dv relationship late last year, he was coming to my new place to visit our baby but i was assaulted twice in two weeks. I moved so he doesnt know where we live, i varied the protection order so he cant come near me or locate me.
There was a death in his family a couple of weeks ago and he wants our daughter to go to the funeral with him.
We dont have any parenting or consent orders in place so i am unsure if i feel comfortable with my daughter going as he has tried to burn the car down with me and my daughter in it and assaulted me while i was holding her. His mental health has always been an issue and he rocked up to court and i was told he seemed like he was on drugs. I have emailed and told him my concerns and he assured me that our daughter isnt in harms way and he wont keep her from me but i just dont believe it.
I dont know what to do and am feeling guilty by keeping our baby from him. I am scared he will keep her if i let him have her even for the day.
I am so lost right now, if anyone has been through this before i would love some advice xx
8 Replies
Nope. Unfortunately if you cant trust him with her safety, there are no exceptions, no special circumstances. Do you have a professional to speak with about this? Im sure they will tell you no. Youre not keeping his baby from him - youre protecting her and he has every opportunity to prove himself and act right and be there for her but HE continued to throw it away to hurt you. Do not give him another opportunity to do that. If you feel guilty, you could try going no contact wih him. His daughter needs him to father her, not to assault you both, have you moving and scared and then show up only to want to take her to a funeral? He hasnt even been parenting her. Just no.
Nope nope and nope! There is absolutely no reason for a baby or toddler to be at a funeral of someone she doesn't even know/remember.
If he was interested in a relationship he would have started the mediation process by now.
You owe him nothing and you can not trust him.
No way!
DO NOT LET HIM HAVE YOUR CHILD! He tried to burn you can while you and his child were in it. No way! Cut complete contact. Protect yourself and your child.
Regardless of dv history, a funeral is not the place for a Daddy + daughter outing.
Yep this is where you see that pulling strings and controlling her and dragging her through his life is what he chooses over making a functional relationship. Hes so wrong it proves he has no idea and shouldn't have her.
No freaking way. He tried to kill you both already and he's assaulted you while you held your baby. Don't let him anywhere near her without you.
No, no, no.
Do not let her go. He is just using this as an excuse to get access to her & possibly to you. Your child doesn't need to go to a funeral. I wouldn't let him anywhere near her without orders in place. Don't engage in back & forward conversations about it. Say no & ignore further contact about it.