I apologies for the novel.
I am concerned about my two year old son and have been for a little while now. He has always been a little 'different' to other children. He is and as always has met his developmental milestones and I believe he is quite intelligent.
My concern is with other habits he displays. He will completely meltdown at anything that is different or out do the ordinary to him. This could be from something like getting a stamp on his foot instead of his hand, a new toy in the pool or a new person at his daycare mums.
He seems to have very sensitive hearing, to the point of me having to close all of bedroom windows. He also has a very good memory, with being able to recognise places that we have visited once before hand. It can be months after and he recognises them states what we have done there ie. doctors.
I spoke to his daycare mum today and asked if she had concerns after he had another meltdown today (someone whipper snipping at next door neighbours). And she had said that she recommended that we go to the doctors as she had concerns about his muscle tone in his legs, the fact he can't cope with changes to his timetable and his hearing.
So I am wondering if firstly, am I making a mountain out of a mole hill and secondly, has any body else's little ones been like this?
Is this strange behaviour for a toddler?
Is this strange behaviour for a toddler?
Posted in:
Baby & Toddler
6 Replies
My toddler is not like this however my mummy's intuition is ringing alarm bells at your description. I would suggest that you get a referral to a paediatrician...
Funnily enough this sounds very familiar. My son is now 16 and during his early schooling years we were referred to a paediatrician for similar reasons. He was diagnosed with ODD, which was accurate but he was also tentatively diagnosed with William Syndrome. It didn't end up being that but there was definitely something which never was pin-pointed. He couldn't deal with loud noises, changes too far outside his normal routine and his build was (and still is) extremely slender with little muscle. We've improved both his hand-eye coordination and fine motor skills with activities and exercises when he was younger. He did grow out of the loud noises thing, still doesn't like routine changes but can adapt with help (we talk through circumstances and actions/reactions) and I find his social skills are "textbook" rather than intuitive. I hope after all these years that whatever it is can be diagnosed for your boy, patience is probably the best advice I can give. Be very patient because things we know and take for granted maybe won't come so easily to him.
he sounds a little like my nephew he was found to have high functioning Aspergers, from what you have described i would recommend seeking help from a paediatrician the earlier you get SUPPORT the easier it will be ... good luck
All of the behaviour you have described is textbook Asperger's syndrome. Google it and see for yourself. Best of luck xx
Novel warning!!! My daughter had some of the same issues as a toddler - perhaps not quite so sensitive to change, but certainly more sensitive than other kids. My kid was always the one to lose the plot when all the other kids would take things in their stride. It was tough to be her mum! The hearing and memory sound similar too. I asked our GP about it at the time, who has a paediatric backgroud and has a special interest in children. My daughter would have been about 2.5ish. He acknowledged that she was an unusual child in some ways, but didn't believe there was anything concerning enough (at that age) to warrant referral or further investigation. In his room, she was always happy (because he was amazingly good at getting kids on his side!) and displayed normal social skills, and was miles ahead of herself with speech, vocab, numbers, etc. But under different circumstances she was incredibly difficult to get along with. At about the age of 3 years and 7-8 months, she had been at kindergarten for a few weeks and her teacher approached me to say my daughter was having trouble following instructions. It wasn't a 'not listening' issue, or defiance or anything to do with bad behaviour, it was when all the kids were packing up their bags and my daughter would just freeze and was overwhelmed with all the instructions and buzzing activity going on around her, then lose the plot. The teacher believed she might have auditory processing disorder, but she seemed very cheerful and blasé when telling me about it and had decided to try visual cues (i.e. putting pictures of her bag, lunch box, hat, drink bottle, etc up for her so she could follow the pictures instead of the verbal instructions). Of course, being a mummy, I freaked out a bit ("disorder??!!!") and decided to get a professional opinion and some ideas on how to approach the whole issue. I saw a reputable developmental psychologist (on my own, so I could describe it all without her having a meltdown about us talking about her) who was satisfied my daughter was likely to simply be an intelligent child with possible anxiety - not likely to be a processing disorder after all but simply a visual learner. She said that for these issues they wait until after their 4th birthday to introduce any interventions, so gave us the title of a quality self-help book for helping your child deal with anxiety, and made a plan to see her again after my daughter's 4th birthday if we were still having problems. As it turned out, over the next few weeks the visual cues worked a treat at kindergarten and the teacher had done a wonderful job in identifying my daughter's needs and finding suitable strategies so that she could pack her own bag without a freeze-then-meltdown. Then, at age 3 years 10 months, the school did routine assessments on all the kindergarten kids and lo and behold - my daughter fit into the category of 'talented'. Which was very nice to hear when we'd been quietly worrying in the back of our minds about all of her quirks. She is now nearly 5, and the anxiety is still there but much more manageable. She still occasionally gets overwhelmed when there's a lot going on around her, but that's slowly improving over time too. She's in prep now and is thriving - apparently listens well and follows instructions without a problem. The meltdowns are pretty much history now, although when she does get upset about something she still tends to be a bit over the top. She copes with change better now because at this age you can explain WHY things have to be different and she understands and (mostly) accepts it. So for us it was simply a very long waiting game, and to be quite frank I'm bloody glad to see the back of the toddler years. All those comments that people say about never wanting their child to grow up and 'they're only little for such a short time' etc... did my head in. I couldn't wait for her to grow up! She stunned us with the amazing things she could do and remember and say, and we thought she was the cutest thing on the planet, but it was a long, hard slog being her parents and many times I wished I could just go to sleep and wake up three years later when she was a bit more reasonable! People simply do not, CANNOT understand what life is like with a child like that until they've had one themselves. And I'm pleased to say that her little sister has none of those issues - she's two and a half now and is perfectly normal compared to our first daughter. Smart but not frighteningly bright, has toddler tantrums without them turning into full blown meltdowns, but for the most part is cute as a button, and I find myself saying "I wish she never had to grow up", then I laugh at myself for saying that. So that's my story - I just wanted to share a story that has a relatively happy outcome a few years down the track. My advice is to trust your instincts, and also trust the instincts of his carers/teachers if you think they're suitably experienced in caring for/teaching children to know an unusual child when they see one. I see there are lots of comments on FB about Asperger's - I hope you're not freaking out too much. It may be that, but it may well not be. I wish you all the best, whatever the outcome is for you and your son. Remember there are lots of mamas out there who understand what you're going through xo
Go with your gut - the fact that you recognise he is a little different to his peers is the biggest indicator to me that it would be worth looking in to further, if only just for peace of mind. My eldest son who is now 4 was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (High Functioning) and Sensory Processing Disorder just after his 3rd birthday, but a lot of the signs were there early on, particularly with the ASD. My son loves people and enjoys interacting, so I never thought for a second it could be Autism, but although he wants to play he has always been socially awkward, and I now know that with ASD it's a spectrum, and every child on it is different!
His aversion to noise was there pretty much from birth, he would always cry if he heard another child crying and was quite sensitive. He rarely threw tantrums, but would meltdown where he just had no control over it. His memory is unbelievable and he tested ridiculously high in his IQ test. He needs structure and routine, and finds it very difficult if plans are changed at the last minute. He doesn't understand tone of voice, body language or facial expressions unless they are very exaggerated. He has a high threshold to pain and doesn't register soft touch, to help him through a meltdown a big tight hug helps him settle, and many find weighted blankets very useful. He has no self awareness, he runs off with no consideration it may be dangerous. He met all developmental milestones up until around the age of 2, and then started to fall very behind in gross and fine motor skills, and has low muscle tone in his legs. A lot of his sensory issues didn't fully kick in until just before he turned 3, it was as if around his 3rd birthday everything just heightened and things that we were coping with before just got incredibly difficult, his aversions to smell, textures and tastes all kicked in along with the existing sound and touch.
Don't be afraid of going and seeing someone about it...that's what they're there for, and if the 'worst' they say is 'you're overreacting, he's totally fine' then it's really not a bad outcome! The help we have received from his behavioural paediatrician and his therapists in helping us understand him better and manage his quirks has been unbelievable, and we are coping so much better and are able to minimise his stress and meltdowns enormously. He has been seeing an OT for almost 12 months now and the difference it's made is phenomenal, in his first assessment he was extremely behind in gross and fine motor, and in the last assessment she did, he is now on par and even slightly ahead of his peers in some areas. Early intervention makes the most amazing difference, and if he is given an ASD diagnosis, there is government funding available to help cover the therapy costs.
Some of the behaviours you've described ARE just totally normal age appropriate behaviours for a 2yr old, and that is what I struggled with too - but the big picture comes when you add all those little things up. Good luck xx