School holidays is the perfect time to return to my home town and catch up with family....but they are hoarders and keeping the house clean is not high on their list of priorities.
Very frustrating as I keep a pretty clean house (not OCD spotless clean, but hygienically clean).
I offer to help clean up, even to dispose of unused items...but no they are happy to live this way.
Its very upsetting to see, and also makes me not want to stay there.
Has anyone else experienced this? Is there anything that I can do to help them...or I just tolerate it while Im visiting.
8 Replies
So you're being judgey, mcjudgestin about the way people keep their house? I'm a hoarder I don't mean to be but my house contains clutter. My boyfriend on the other hand is not. He comes and stays at least once a week. In saying that my floors are clean the dishes are done and there's bits of stuff around the place that I need to sort through and then get rid of. If the house is filled with trash and it's a complete pigsty I can understand your inability to stay there but if the house is clean but just cluttered get over it. Youre not going to be there forever. It's just a holiday. Alternatively find somewhere else to stay while you visit then your family members won't have to worry about feeling like they aren't good enough for you.
Where does it say in the post that they arent good enough??
Learn to read instead of writing attacking response!!
I understand where you're coming from. I can't stay in my sisters house for longer than an hour. It is cluttered, stuff is strewn everywhere, it's actually dirty. They eat breakfast and leave half eaten/drank dishes everywhere for days at a time. You actually can't cook in the kitchen because there is no room and no clean dishes. I keep a very clean house, lived in, but clean and tidy. I've given up cleaning, I used to clean the kitchen and tidy up when I visited but after 20 minutes (no joke) it was like I hadn't touched it. It stresses me out being there, but they are seemingly happy, so I just remove myself from the situation and avoid going there.
My cousin often invites us to stay. I can not stay there. They are filthy, one time I went and the odour from the kitty litter was so terrible I was dry retching as I walked in the door! She new we were coming for months and couldn't clean the kitty litter??
There were 6 garbage bags of rubbish piled in the kitchen and the house was piled with hoarder stuff (like you'd see on tv). The house is not messy or cluttered, it was filthy and a hoard. The hoard I could stay in, for a few hours before I have a panic attack, it feels claustrophobic.
When I visit we only do it if I can afford to stay in a nearby hotel/caravan park etc.
We arrange to meet on outings for the day.
It's not about judging it's about feeling incredibly uncomfortable in the environment. If my cousin chooses that life, she is totally entitled to do so. It's none of my business and the only person she is hurting is herself. I also realise unless she sees it as a problem it's never going to change.
i also like to keep a clean house and my in laws house is the same as ur family's I don't like to stay there for more then half an hour as I can't stand the mess or the smell of the house after we leave and get home I always say to my partner that I can't stand the smell of the house and that they have to much stuff and that if my mum was still alive and saw the state of that house she would go home and become ocd and do nothing but clean her own house and all my partner can say is I know he never goes and has a chat with his parents and every time my brother in law is here (he is 16 he turns 17 in November as there is ten years between him and my partner ) I ask if his bedroom is clean and he says yes my reaction to that is so if I go round there it is spotless and he says no but it is clean .
I just can't stand a dirty house but I just put up with it for my partner as iam in a relationship with him and not them
My mum is a hoarder and since having children 10 years ago I haven't been to her house. She visits me. Its sad because my children will never have sleep overs at grandma's house but I was raised in that and have suffered and choose not to expose my kids to it.
Me too!! Sad really.
Oh my gosh I could've written this myself!!! I hate it. I have no suggestions for you but just know you're not the only one. x