I'm looking for some advice please?
My children stay with me and their father alternate weeks. My children have been telling me dad is drinking alcohol. They say when he has a beer it's not 1 but 6. They don't say he's drunk. They are able to report accurately as they are teenagers. We have no orders in place only private agreement.
I had a conversation with the oldest child today and they have concerns about dad's alcohol consumption, not eating regularly and sleeping during the day. The child states dad seems to be awake at night. He works for himself. There has been a lot of school absences too which the school is following up. I am unsure if this is related to alcohol consumption.
I cannot speak with him as we don't communicate well. The children don't feel they can talk to him as they state they will get in trouble and he will be angry.
What can I do? This isn't an environment I want the children exposed to if there is excessive drinking. Has anyone been in a similar situation and been able to reach a good conclusion? It's important they see both of us but I worry this is doing damage to them. (Please only constructive advice).
2 Replies
Sometimes the best place for it to come from is a third party. Have you thought about asking your children if they would consider talking to a counsellor/psychologist about what is happening. If it is viewed as harmful enough it may be reported but mainly it gives your children a place to talk and some strategies to help deal with their fathers behaviour. Headspace if it is available in your area is usually a great place for teenagers to go.
As they are teenagers if they don't want to go, they don't have to go.
I'd start the mediation process as they will talk to the kids and the mediator will be able to communicate with them.
Personally if the kids don't want to go at this point I'd be supporting them in that decision. You could also ask the kids to speak to there school coubsellor or a psychologist.