firstly, please, oh please don't repost this one on Facebook, otherwise my identity will come out with who wrote this. Please!!
I think I just need someone to talk to, since I really don't have close friends I can chat too about my problems. I am a single mum of one, who just happens to share a house with her parents. The last couple of days my little darling has been having temper tantrums when she doesn't get her own way. I mean, screaming and crying and when I try and walk away to try and diffuse the situation it makes it worse. I try ignoring it and continuing on with what I am doing, talking in a normal voice, yelling, trying to walk away.
You name it, I've tried it, even saying I will smack her bum. That's not the problem, but tips would be appreciated on what I should do. The problem is my parents buting in and making me feel like a bad, horrible mum and stuff. I told my dad it's none of his business, he says it is his business and the neighbours will think I'm killing my daughter. Mum of course backed him up. Tonight at bedtime, she was at it again, all because she wanted another story book to add to her reading collection, but she didn't know which one, but I had to get it for her anyway. All she did was scream and cry and nothing I did worked, again.
Mum came barging into my daughters bedroom demanding to know what was going on. Telling me that if I wasn't careful then they would take her off me.
I don't know what to do. I can't help it if she throws hissy fits and nothing I do or don't do helps the situation. I feel very unloved by my parents and very judged all the time.
They really must think I am a bad mother, god knows they are always trying to parent my daughter. Eg, by telling her that her special small Easter egg was the last for the week, save some for later.
I very much lack confidence as it has, this just makes it worse. I always new that I wasn't particularly loved like my siblings, and my parents are always telling me what to do, but I can't take it anymore. Try being told by your own father 2 odd weeks after giving birth and having no luck in stopping your child from crying to 'grow up and stop being a sook ' I am really starting to hate them and myself.
Please, what do I do? How do I stay sane. They don't listen to me.
4 Replies
Move out!!
the don't respect you as a parent n constantly undermine you, they are causing self esteem issues n making things worse with ur daughter as she doesn't see u to be in charge but them.
I don't think standing ur ground in their house will do anything but cause problems, anywhere is better then there at the moment.
second my mum threaten to take my girl if me n its been nearly 2 years since I spoke with her. HOW DARE THEY SAY THAT! N just for friggen tantrums that every child has.
you can do better then what they offer.
your doing the best u can with what u have got, hang in there. Xxoo
Being a single mum is hard. But being in a situation where your daughter can run to grandma or grandpa when you say no, is only making it harder for you to discipline. I know from experience, I lived with my mother and father for 3 months, by the end my children were the most terrible evil minions of mischief. Within a month of being on my own, with a proper routine, and no other "authority figures" my children are back to the well behaved (most of the time lol) wonderful helpful children I raised.
As for your thoughts that you are unloved... I have been in a physical fight like literally punching hair pulling scratching, I still have some scars and police were called fight with a family member. But no matter how bad my family and I fight, they are always there to help if I need it. I hope your family is the same. (Mine didn't want to follow my rules with my children either lol) Good luck. I hope you find a way to make this work, because your daughter deserves a good mother who is able to parent her properly, without negative influence.
Move out your a grown woman you have a child of your own you don't need to be living at home.
I have had a similar experience but they had never said I was a bad mum they just always told me I was doing it all wrong constantly making me feel like a horrible parent. The lowest point was me yelling at my mum that I hated her and I never want to see her again while my stepdad and her ganged up yelling at me. I was depressed and at my wits end and decided it was time I figure out a way to move out on my own. Thanks to NRAS Housing I am very happy living by myself with my son and my relationship with my mum is better than ever. Sorry to say buy moving out is your only out because you are under their roof and they will always butt in and putting you down. Goodluck x