OK, I'm wanting opionions on what other mums would do in this situation. We are relatively new to this town and have only made friends with one other family here. They are lovely people with kids around the same age as ours (we have a boy about to turn 3 and a daughter just turned 1 and they have 2 boys, 4 and just turned 3 and a daughter 2 months younger than ours) At our daughters birthday a few weeks ago we talked about how all the kids birthdays are so close and specifically discussed how my boy's is the week after hers and that I wouldn't worry about buying invitations as they were the only people invited. This past weekend we attended her boys birthday and I was a bit upset to see an invitation on her fridge to another boys birthday up on her fridge for the same day as my son's party. I asked her about it and she just said, Oh we'll sort something out but never said what. Shortly after that the the other lad and his mum arrived and we all sat around having a friendly chat (I felt a little akward because I didn't know this lady) while the kids played together. It was made very clear to me that my friend would be attending the other party. I didn't know what to say. After a while I thought, her 2 boys are my son's best mates, he would be shattered if they didn't come so I offered to push back my son's party to the following week-end. They both jumped at the offer saying that then I could bring my boy to the other party and the other boy could come to my boys party. Thing is, my boy can't understand why he has to wait a week and a half after his birthday for his party and my hubby is livid that we have been shoved to the side like this for a lad we don't even know. I don't want to ruin our friendship by making a big deal out of it but I must admit my feelings are pretty hurt. I was tempted to just have his party as planned but it's only my lad who will be upset when not one person comes. What would you?
4 Replies
Ouch! I haven't been in your situation, so I can only comment hypothetically. I'm getting the impression you're pretty shy, so perhaps confronting the person might be totally out of the question for u. I think given that the friends boy is the only child invited/coming, I think you've done the right thing for ur sons confidence. He'd feel pretty rotten if no one came at all. Explain that On that particular day everyone was busy, so u needed to move the party. Don't go to the friends friend party... Instead make a big deal about ur sons birthday On the original party day. This way he won't feel second best by attending another party of someone he barely knows who to your son 'stole his birthday' and gets an eextra person to come to his (if they bother). Good luck. It's tricky being in a new town.
Ouch! I haven't been in your situation, so I can only comment hypothetically. I'm getting the impression you're pretty shy, so perhaps confronting the person might be totally out of the question for u. I think given that the friends boy is the only child invited/coming, I think you've done the right thing for ur sons confidence. He'd feel pretty rotten if no one came at all. Explain that On that particular day everyone was busy, so u needed to move the party. Don't go to the friends friend party... Instead make a big deal about ur sons birthday On the original party day. This way he won't feel second best by attending another party of someone he barely knows who to your son 'stole his birthday' and gets an eextra person to come to his (if they bother). Good luck. It's tricky being in a new town.
I personally don't see the big issue and it could be a good way for you and your son to make some new friends by going to the other boys party too. I would make a big deal of your sons actual birthday (which is what we do with our kids) and then tell him that he gets to go play with some other kids and make some new friends before his party :) you never know there might be another family at this party that you hit it off with :)
good luck hope it all works out for you :)
Honestly I think you may be being a little over sensitive. We moved 6mths ago and it is really tough trying to fit in and build new friendships.
Your friend was probably in a really awkward situation herself having been invited to two parties and having both people sitting there with her. I know I would have struggled to find a way to please everyone in that scenario too. On the upside, this extra party lets you & your son both expand your social circle a little bit.
I know it's a bit unfair that you're the one that had to change your plans and yes in an ideal world your friend would have said "Oh we can't come we have another party that day" when she got the 2nd party invite but maybe she forgot, maybe she panicked, maybe she honestly thought she could find a way to work it out who knows. Either way if you've found a couple you get along with and the kids all like eachother I personally wouldn't go throwing that away over this, especially when you're the one who suggested the alternative (even if it's not what you wanted).