I have a really hard question, well for me it is anyway.
I currently have two boys aged 4 & 3. They are 13 months apart and life is really good at the moment! I feel like we have finally passed the hard hard yards of chaotic toddlers and all that comes with it - now I have found out I am in the early weeks pregnancy and I could not be any more petrified! I thought we were done! Things are getting easier, simple tasks like going down the road is easier even! I am struggling to come to terms with throwing a newborn into the mix. My husband is excited. He thinks this will be perfect for us and we can manage and get through. We have finally just started sleeping again and all I'm honestly thinking is dread. I don't want to feel like this, I want to to be happy.
I suffered abit of post natal after my second being so close to my first and life was already crazy. I like being in control. How do I relax abit and enjoy? To be perfectly honest I'm considering talking honestly to my husband about a termination. But will I regret that decision? I need some advice :-( Please be kind I already feel terrible about my current feelings. Have many been in my shoes and is there light at the end of the tunnel?
4 Replies
Oh my love yes I have been there only last year. I was going from 3 to 4. 2 teenagers and a 6yo. And honestly the thought of adding another made me panic, but we also thought that there was a reason. Everything in our life has happened for a reason.But both my hushand and I still werent ready. It was horrible I didnt enjoy my pregnancy and neither did my husband. After bub was born i had pnd. My suggestion to you talk to your doctor and get some councilling you sound like you have an adjustment disorder like what the councillors told me. I really wish I had because now 10 months later my daughter is walking already and I feel as though i missed so much enjoyment of her being a newborn. My little girl had bought my family so close together
We just had our third and he has just slipped into this family unit perfectly! There is a gap of 4yrs between our newborn and second child so that makes things a lot easier - I have spaced all ours by about 4 yrs and it really does make things one hundred times easier - I don't think I would have handled two so close like you did and I think if you can do that, you can do anything lol!. Your other two are old enough to 'help out' to a degree too, with me, even little things like talking to Bub while I get the washing up done. I personally would never consider termination but it's your decision. All the best x
I completely understand how you're feeling. This was me a few years ago. My girls are 4.5, 3.5 and 18 months. Please don't get me wrong, I certainly do not regret my third but knowing what I know now I would of had hubby get the snip after the second or taken better precautions because it's so hard!! My older two miss out on so much, so much of me, going to beach/shops/parks, I avoid taking them anywhere now because it's too difficult. Even little things like painting, drawing, play doh they miss out on as 18 month old gets involved and destroys their creations or eats it. She cries all day demanding my 100% attention. I hope there is light at the end of the tunnel but I'm yet to experience it :(
I could have written this post early last year when I found out I was pregnant with our third. I had just returned to work after a long maternity leave and we were working hard towards a deposit to build our first home.
It was a shock and I remember having all the same thoughts as you arr and I was worried I wouldn't cope, I thought I'd have to leave work for good, I knew our house dream would have to be put on hold.
But then at 10 weeks I started bleeding and I felt so much panic and I realised then I really really wanted this little baby and I didnt want to lose it! I was a mess up until the ultrasound that revealed a beautiful heartbeat.
I won't lie, it was bloody overwhelming when our third beautiful boy arrived. I didn't leave the house on my own for a month. Our first supermarket trip failed and i left with only half the groceries. I cried the whole day when my husband went back to work. I felt like it would never feel normal again but slowly it did....
Things got easier, a routine was established! We still have crappy days but I had those when we only had two anyway. Our family is so complete now and #3 is just such a gorgeous little boy. Hes 7 months now and every day he does something that brings smiles to our faces. Yesterday he said dad dad for the first time! His big brothers absolutely adore him and he adores them. Oh and I can leave the house with all if them now and everything is ok, I can manage! :)
I am so happy we were surprised with our third baby. He has brought so much joy to our lives.
I hope you find some joy in your pregnancy too lovely. But i definitely understand how your feeling so big hugs to you! Xxx