Hi, my sons 5 but lately he seems lonely. I always planned to wait til he was 10 till I had more children as I wanted to meet someone first and get my career on track first. He doesn't have any family his age and likely no more will be born for awhile unless I had more. Wondering if I should just have one on my own and continue to try and continue working on my career or wait. Meeting up with friends, going to the playground and kindy doesn't seem to be enough interaction for him. I think things would be better when he goes to school full time next year but not sure what to do. My future includes a job I would have to put on hold to have more children so wondering if I should have more now. My mum mentioned about fostering but I'm unsure if I would be qualify as I'm only 24 and single. We also joked about self insemination but I'm unsure if she was joking or she would get angry if I was to have another child.
4 Replies
Honestly my belief in having more children is that the only reasons to have another is if You want another child, You are ready for another child.
By the time you got pregnant and had a baby (that will be too young for your son to play with anyway) he will be at school. The baby will always be 6 years younger than your son.
Babies and more children are fantastic if you want one and are ready in yourself. But to have a baby to entertain your 5 year old sound like faulty thinking to me. Given that the type of things 5 year olds like to do aren't things babies can do.
I do want more just don't know if it's the right thing to do atm. My siblings and I are 6 and 7 years apart and my sister helped look after me and we got along well. I never felt lonely. So I don't think the current age difference would be an issue but worried that older would be too much of a difference. Its just all too hard to decide lol I've been wanting another child for 2 years now but tried to hold off the thoughts.
As both get older they will be able to play and entertain each other, but for the first couple of years it won't really be like that.
If you are going to do it, get a sperm donor through proper channels so you don't have the 'dad doesn't know he has a baby' thing going on.
I dont think you should have a baby that has a job to do. I also think a baby sill not keep him busy until its old enough to play, about 4, before that it makes it very hard and you have less timd for him and need him to be even more independent.