Hi IM's,
So my son is 3.5 years old, and half way through my pregnancy I met this guy who then took Logan on as his own as his biological father didn't want anything to do with him or myself. Anyway my son was 2 when we split and our plan was once he turned 2 my ex (his step dad) would adopt him. Well that didn't happen because we split just before his birthday & I just wasn't sure if he'd stick to his word n stick around for our child.
Well in the last 6 months everything has been great up until 2 months ago. When he stopped wanting to have my son as much as he used to & basically I have to call him asking when he is going to see him or if he can pick him up from daycare to spend time with him. He's had 2 sleepovers in this last 2 months which 4 months before it was like a sleep over every fortnight when he was home from work. Anyway I just don't know what to do about my son n his relationship now. I don't want to push or nag him to have our son or ask him when he's coming because I'm sick of the excuses he gives me.
What would you do in my position?
My parents don't support this relationship with my ex & my son.. And now I'm starting to realise maybe they were right.. "He's not his father so he can just up n leave his life whenever he feels like it" :(
Sorry for the long story.
Step father & letting go
Step father & letting go
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Kids
2 Replies
I would let it fade out over time. If your son isn't asking then definitely don't arrange anything. I'd wait for your ex to contact you.
Forcing the relationship would just make it worse for your son in the long term.
Same as a bio dad he can walk any time or fade in and out. I would probably not set him up as a dad as it will cause pain when that changes. Call him a special name and that he loves you very much but take the parental onus off him. Maybe a godfather? Something that they can keep no matter if they dont see each other for years, and he or you go on to have other children/ families. And let it go. Cancel the shared care. Let him take him if you trust him, for special days out, but let him ask and organise it, and tell him that you appreciate it.