My 4 yr old girl masterbates alot. We have never shamed her about it as I know it's a normal part of growing up, but we have stressed it is a private thing to do in your own room. But it seems to be every sleep time, day and night she gets at it, to the point where I have to change her pajamas at night because she's so sweaty. How much is too much? We though it may be a phase, but it seems to be continuing on for the last year or so, much more lately. Anyone else dealt with this? Is this much normal?
13 Replies
Interested as my dd does this too.She is 6 and does it at sleep times or when she is extremly tired. She puts her hand down there on the outside of her pants and just wriggles and wriggles. Would love to hear others views aswell.
Might be an underlying problem? Might be a comfort thing for when she is stressed? Maybe ask her why she does it so often.
My first response is no it's not normal. My second is why is she doing it (and so much). Did something trigger it? I'd be concerned (as you obviously are). I want to say the M word (molestation)... Can you think of someone who could have done something to her? Big hugs xx
My 3 1/2 year old does it to self sooth every sleep and at other times when she is bored, and she still has a day time nap. She also rubs up against the carseat harness when she is tired in the car. I was worried about putting her into daycare because of it! but I approached my daycare, talked to them about it and they said it was 100% normal!! its not a sexual thing, its a it feels good so why not do it?? as she gets older she will learn that its a only in the privacy of her own home thing. Apparently she doesn't even do it at daycare or when she is any where else, only at home because I guess she figures its safe. I just have to make sure to not let her get bored and keep her mind busy and if she starts it I distract her.
I used to work in child care and came across 1 little girl outf of litterally thousands of children I have educated. Her mother was being abused by dad and it seemed to be an attention thing. When dad left the scene and mum got help she settled.(over 15 yrs ago now) I don't believe it is normal at this age. at 10yrs and up yes but not for littlies. Like others have suggested get her checked out for uti or thrush. Does she have any toileting issues? If she is constantly playing down there it may affect her. But at this age definitely let her know it is not ok to be doing that and get on top of controlling the behavior. when she is a lot older then she can be discrete and go to her room and will know how to wash her own sheets.
If this was a boy, people would think nothing of it and you'd probably be less concerned also. I took my 7 year old daughter to be evaluated by a pediatrician after her school had gotten involved because she'd done it a few times at school, even after we'd had a huge talk about what was 'private' and avout keeping her safe. I had to be interviewed by the principal and guidance counciller about whether or not she'd been molested etc. It was insane. When I told the pediatrician how the school handled it he was completely disgusted. Apparently this is very, very common amongst little girls. just like boys constantly play with themselves without anyone batting an eye lid. Don't call it 'masturbation'. Just like if she were itching a scratch cause it feels good, she's probably discovered if she touches herself that feels good too. DO Rule out infection of course. And DO have a talk with her about privacy. That nobody is to touch her there. And that she shouldn't do it around other people.
After seeing the pediatrician, I went back to the school and explained how ridiculous it was that they had jumped to conclusions and what the pediatrician had told me. They admitted if it were a male student with his hands down his pants all day it would have been treated differently. Sexism lives amongst children too. My daughter is now completely over the 'phase'.
My 2yo dd likes to please herself at nap time too & has been doing it for quite some time. She rolls her wrap up or now lies on top of a doll & wriggles around. It seems to be almost every nap, sleep & wake up time as well. I've spoken to the early child nurse & she said its normal & don't worry, but it's hard not too.
My eldest (now 12) used to do it ALL the time
You're doing the right thing teach her it's private and no one else wants to see it.
Mine grew out of it in sure she still does but I don't see it anymore.
If your worried speak to someone but it is normal at this age "if it feel good they do it"
My daughter does it too, daycare once took me aside to "discuss" with me, I just let it go! She is 5 now and still does it when she goes to sleep. It is not so much masturbating more just getting comfortable. Only thing I would do at such a young age is make sure there is no redness or underlying condition where she might be uncomfortable, make sure she is wormed as well.
When I was a child I used to get alot of thrush but was too embarrassed to say anything. Personally if there is no medical reason causing it to happen then I would leave it and see if she grows out of it.
I grew up doing this!!! I can remember doing it as young as 3, though obviously had no concept what so ever that it was sexual. Even after sex ed in grade 5 I didn't put all the peices together. I did develope very early, breasts and periods 9years 8months old. For me, it was a race that I always won. I had to "finish" first. I knew if I was struggling to sleep and relax, that would have me passed out straight away. Because you have to concentrate on what your doing, it's almost therapeutic in clearing your mind. I do sometimes remember getting anxious if I couldn't "sleep" because of other people intruding or see me. If you possibly have your daughter learn other meditation methods or taught how to relax with breathing you may reduce the dependency on masturbating.
Wow after reading all these answers I didn't realise how common it was amoungst young children.
I would talk to your doctor & getting her checked out just incase it's too do with a medical reason. If not medical related I would be stopping her & telling her no Everytime she starts doing it. It's gross to hear at such a young age that she actually enjoys touching herself , that's not meant to sound harsh either,I have daughters myself I've just never heard of a 4 yr old masterbating so I got a little shocked reading it
I help my son cum in my pussy
I help my 6 year son jerk off and let him touch my vagina and stick it in me and he cums inside me and I love his cum he cum in my mouth and I drink his cum