Hey ladies..
I have a question about those who have 3 children.
I thought I was 'done' having any more children because I have my pigeon pair and have also told everyone I only wanted 2. Now I just having this feeling that I'm not done, and perhaps could go for a third, which in one way seems crazy to me after spending years telling everyone we are done.
My worry is though it'll put out the dynamics, my kids are 5 and 2 and I've always thought how great it'll be that now the kids are getting older we can go on family of 4 holidays, my daughter will be in kindergarten next year so I'll be able to focus on me a little more, 2 kids is reasonably easy to handle for my husband and I.. But why can't I get this thought of having another out of my head!? Our lives are hectic enough as it is, although we would be fine financially I feel like maybe it'll just make things unbearably hectic. I guess I just want others opinions on how huge of a transition going from 2 to 3 would be? If we did I wouldn't plan to have another for a few years so my kids would be 7 and 4 by then.
Having a 3rd child.. Am I crazy?
Having a 3rd child.. Am I crazy?
Posted in:
Pregnancy
10 Replies
I really don't understand why people feel they should stop at 2 because they have a pigeon pair? That is just bizarre to me but that may be because I was a part of a pigeon pair and I hated it and always wanted a sister. My brother and I did NOT get along at all.
We can't really answer this question for you obviously but please don't think you should stop at 2 just because you have a boy and a girl. A pigeon pair may seem like the "perfect" family on the outside but it's not always the case for the kids. What do your kids think? Do they want another sibling?
My daughter would love a baby sister, obviously I can't give her a specific gender but she would love another sibling. My son is too young to answer but my husband and I can't believe how loving and gentle he is with babies when he's generally quite rough. I don't know if the desire is because I am one of 3 or I just know deep down I'm not done, but the whole idea of doing it all over again with two children scares me!
I've never understood why the 'pigeon pair' was seen as the ultimate.
I'm one of three girls, worked well for us. My son is my one and only and works well for him and I.
There is no perfect number or ideal family.
If you can afford it, you have the emotional ability, your partner is also willing then I don't see the big deal.
I think as families we are as hectic as we want to be. If you want the kids to do loads of extra curricular activities and you are the type of people who are like to have loads of social commitments then it will be hectic. If you are laid back, take things slow, one extra curricular per child then it won't be.
I never understood why a pigeon pair is seen as the ultimate either especially as same sex siblings are generally a lot closer and get along better.
Thanks and I agree, 'pigeon pairs' are seen as the ultimate, and when others typically make that comment it's in a way that's asking whether you're done or not with children.
I guess my concern is more with the number of children as many of my friends have mentioned about having the typical 'middle child' syndrome.
Yes three is chaos, they outnumber the parents!
They fight, it costs more for everything, sometimes i feel i dont get to spend enough (if any) one on one time with them, we have two of our kids that have to share a room and its like WWIII everyday!!
BUT, i wouldnt change it for the world, yes when one goes on a sleepover we think 'isnt this great? Two kids..sooo easy!' But i love that my kids have each other, i love that i gave them friends to play with when they are little and a support system when they are older. If you want another and hubs wants another then go for it
I was in the same situation as you i have a pigion pair 6 and 4 my 4 year old os a very spirited lottle girl and I thought I was done I kept thinking there was no way I could have another. My husband and I talked one night about me getting a hysterectomy due to bad periods and a history of cin III we decided we wanted another but would wait until our daughter was at school which is not next year but the year after. But on a visit to the doctor's found out it would not happen without assistance we where due to see our ivf doctor later this month to start that processprocess and then after 18 months a 3 miscarriages I am due with our little miracle baby due in January.
Oh wow congratulations!!
How are you feeling about it all, nervous, calm?? I think I'm more nervous now than I would be if I knew I were expecting.
My honest answer is that it's really hard !!! BUT my kids are all two years apart 5,3,1 ... So maybe for me it's the 3 kids under 5 (which I've done for the last year ) at home that's the hard part ? A friend of mine had a 3rd at the same time as us and has a bigger age gap and although she still says it's hard sometimes i believe it's a bit easier for her as the other kids are at school and bub kind of just fits in .
Don't get me wrong I love my kids dearly and I'd still do it all over again but if I had of planned it properly is of left a bigger age gap ;)
Having said that though I come from a family of 3 kids all really close in age and as adults we are all in similar life stages (eg having kids and settled down ) and get to share that together which is really nice and we are all close . So there are always pros and cons for whatever you choose ;)
If you and hubby are both on board go for it ! You wont regret it !!!!!!!
Going from 2 to 3 was a lot more hectic than I though it would be but with younger 2 they are only 19 months apart. We struggled with the even time but we sorted that and made our time work. I have 3 girls and it's, loud it's messy, it's bitchy but I love it. They all get along so well and are so loving. We are going to try for a 4th in a few years ?